May 31, 2007

Zoo 101


Countdown.

The pig is in labor.

How did Mama know that?

Well, erm... the vagina is pretty swollen and red.
Geeze.

Huwaaaat??!
Did I say vagina??!?!?

Our house is turning to a freakin' zoo, but if my mother's happy, so be it.
It doesn't end with the talk of pig's vagina.
The pup ate the ducklings, which prompted my mother to beat the hell out of the little pup.

Did I say that our guests would have the novelty of watching puppies and ducks sitting in front of them because mama allows these puppies and ducks to lazily cavort inside the house. People's reactions generally amuse me.
There are guests who just simply ignore them.
Others look at them with disdain, albeit conspicously.

What do I do?
I screamed at the blasted animals.





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