Feb 26, 2008

My love letters

I love writing love letters. I have written hundreds of love letters in my life time. They were reflections of the love I had for different people -- my mother, my friends and yes, my love for people who at one time or another held my heart.

Hell, I even wrote love letters for people I did not give a damn about. Ask my friend Bobet who asked me to write a love letter for one of his exes, or Tin who asked me to write a letter for Mark, or my Kuya Victor for whom I wrote a love letter for our neighbor. I was only 12 years old that time.

Love letters are your soul's poetry. It is at that very moment where you are writing the words down, you stripped yourself off naked of pretensions. You cannot write a love letter without baring your soul. Love letters strip you naked.

I have written my own fair share of love letters. One person even told me that my letters weren't actually letters -- that they were actually works of art. At that time, I couldn't tell him that everything is a work of art, if you truly and honestly put your heart to it.

Erbe and I keep 12 love letters that we wrote for each other for every 16th of the months of our first year together. These 12 love letters are the most precious "things" to me.

I have came across love letters that were written to Erbe. I burned them. Sue me. My sister came across letters that her husband's ex wrote him. My brother-in-law were still keeping them. My sister spent a considerable number of hours crying over these letters. The ironic thing is that, she is keeping her own share of love letters.

I am also keeping a fair share of love letters. Who could honestly say that they don't feel anything when they happen to read love letters of past loves? There is this particular love letter that never fails to make me smile. I just can't get over the fact that this boy spelled "feelings" as "fellings". He said, "My fellings for you..." He was a sweet young love who COULDN'T spell. But I know that during those moments that he was writing those words -- he meant them although he couldn't spell them.

I have a number of love letters from people who gifted me with their admiration that I couldn't return. These love letters never fail to extract bittersweet emotions from me. I, too, have given love letters to people I admired. I have often wondered if they regret having had given those letters to me. Because I regret handing out my heart to a love who cannot give his heart back. I just cringe every time I think of those letters -- my heart carelessly given to someone who just didn't care.

I have a number of letters I do not want to read at all because there are letters that remind me of the things that could have been -- the "what if's" of my life. These letters never fail to make me cry. So, I keep them to remind me of a lovely memory, but I do not read them.

I have kept love letters for the last 27 years of my life. I wonder if those that I gave are still kept or have they been all carelessly thrown away?

9 Gorgeous People Said --:

SheR. said...

We kept mobile texts ad emails!:P

Anonymous said...

i burned all the love letters given to me by an ex, but i wish i could've saved them though 'coz they were great materials to edit with lots of grammatical errors as well as misspelled words! hahaha! but kidding aside, i've once given a love letter to a big crush i had back in high school, and i also cringe every time i remember that incident. i sometimes wonder what he thought of it though. *shiver*

Tinggay said...

Sher, my sister did the same! :)
She kept it all and then had them printed when she applied for a visa when she moved to UK to be with her hubby.

Jinx! Thanks for the comment. Hmm... I wonder if I know that High School crush. It would be interesting to know who captured your fancy back in High School! :)

Anonymous said...

si angelo agna! hahahaha! he's a year older than i am. saw him once at mcdonald's soon after our college graduation and many years after high school. don't know why, but he still made me blush. must be the love letter that i wish i haven't written!!! gaaahhh!!! he made me feel like an ostrich, and i wanted to hide my head under the sand.

SOUL AFLAME said...

For me, the keeping of love letters from a person prior to your partner now, is a seriously big mistake.

They are snapshots of how you felt at a particular time and can be potentially damaging to your current partner if they find them.

It would be like keeping a box full of photos of our past lovers with locks of their hair.... We move on and who we love now is significant rather than the past.

I often write love letters to my wife, and always show and tell her how much she means to me. I'm a huge romantic at heart

Tinggay said...

Well, that's another way of putting it Floog.
My husband knows I have those letters, but he knows them for what they are and it doesn't bother them. I keep his letters separate though. I have this special box for his letters. It irks me though that he doesn't take care of my letters to him the way I treasure his letters to me.

SheR. said...

Oops, my fiance seems to be the other way round. He keeps everything that remind him of our times together..train tickets, flight tickets, movie tickets, small note I scribbled, choc wrapper. Hm..

SOUL AFLAME said...

I can totally understand how you feel. I guess we are all different, which is what I like about the world. It would be very boring if we all felt the same. wouldn't it.

I cherish the letters and cards from my wife, they are so personal.

I think there is not enough love in the world, the pace has become too frenetic, and mankind has forgotten the joys of taking time in all areas and expressing our feelings.

I'm often criticised by people who don't even know me for being too romantic and 'slushy', but not by my wife, and it's what she feels that matters to me.

Tinggay said...

You are lucky Sher. You have such a thoughtful man. I'd bet he's the kind who do a lot of things to surprise you. My hubby, wonderful that he is, is lacking on that aspect. He tries to make up on other ways. He takes care of me well, though.

Floog, your wife is a very lucky woman. :)