Mayong Title

Okay, I have been wanting to get pregnant. It's not in the plan. It's a bad idea at this time, but I have been wanting to get pregnant AGAIN. Now, I wonder if I am, but I haven't checked. This has happened before and it always turned out to be negative, so I refuse to go through that again. 

I figure if I am pregnant, I'll know when something starts kicking inside of me. That's that. Yes, I can be very stubborn about this. I highly doubt if I am though. After all, need I remind you there is seriously wrong with my effing reproductive system? All fine and dandy, just suits my freaking age.

I've been told in two year's time, I'll be in an advanced maternal age. I'm sorry for sounding like an ungrateful bitch. Okay, I take it all back.

Anyway, I have been wanting to blog again. It's a good thing. My blog has been waiting for me for a couple of months. I have also been itching to paint, draw and sketch which I haven't done for a long time. I've been wanting to create a portrait of Paige. I'll get right onto to it when I have the time. It sucks to have an "artist" for a husband though. You tend to become a bit competitive. He has been missing painting and drawing as well.

I also miss writing in my journal. Blogging is not as powerful as writing in one's journal. It doesn't heal as much as the latter does. It doesn't give you much room for complete honesty.

Yesterday, I found myself nagging Erbe again. You see, I have always wanted to go to a beer house. I have always wanted to dress up a man and swagger my way in. I can pass for a guy as long as I perfect my swagger and leers, right? I have the height for it.

I have a specific beer house in mind. I want to go into the seediest beer house, complete with gyrating STD-infected naked women. Yes, that's what I have always wanted to see. I want to see what it's like in there.

I have weird curiosities. For instance, I have never thought of myself as gay. Oh, no, it's all Brad Pitt for me. But I am curious about two things:

1. How do breasts feel like to touch?

2. How does it feel to kiss a girl?

Erbe said, "But you have breasts!" Oh yeah, I have 'em. They're not hard to notice, but they're my appendages. They are like my arms and legs. They have been there for more than half of my life that I don't regard them as breasts. They're just body parts.

What's the big deal about breasts, right? Your mother has them. Your grandmother has them. What's the big deal about these things?

And then there's the kiss. Have you seen Cruel Intentions? Now, that was some kiss, right?

Oh, well, I'd better get back to work now. I still have several articles to write.