It’s a “Good” Friday.

I was having a bad moment earlier. Really bad. The kind of bad that would land me in an asylum.

I didn’t want to put the kids to bed. I haven’t been feeling well all afternoon and I didn’t really have the patience for their bickering. It’s always constant bickering with the girls. Now, I know how my mother felt with me and my sister quarreling while growing up.  I’m echoing the same things she used to scream at us.

Anyway, Riley was crying because Erbe left the room.  She’s papa’s girl and she likes to have him put her to bed.  Because Erbe didn’t come back too soon for her, she cuddled next to me, whimpering.  So, I hugged her close until her sniffling stopped and I could feel her steady breathing. She was finally asleep. And I laid there, just looking at this one single star I could see from the window.  The curtains were open and the moon was so bright, I could see white clouds dotting the dark blue skies.  And there was this one star..just one star.

It was one of those moments – those perfect moments. My 2-year-old cuddled next to me, and I… I was staring at the sky, and that one single bright star. Those are the kinds of moments that you can’t buy…not even for a million bucks.

And suddenly, I didn’t feel so bad.

I felt grateful and blessed. And I started counting all my blessings…counting..counting…counting. And I realized all the things I convinced myself I need to have…I don’t really need them. I want them, but I have everything I need right now.  In fact, if I die tonight, I’ll die happy.

That was my last thought before I started praying…no, not really. I did not pray. I had a conversation with God. And it started with, “I’m sorry, I haven’t talked to you for a while now, but still…thank you…”

I haven’t been praying, you see. I realized it’s because my life has been really good that I haven’t found the need to pray.  So, I lay there for a while and allowed myself to pray.

Needless to say, it was a Good Friday. Yes, pun intended.