I can't figure out which I like best - the original or this unplugged version. Nevertheless, I love this song.
The Benefits of Oregano
Oregano (Scientific name: Origanum vulgare) is also known as Wild Marjoram, Mountain Mint, Origanum, Wintersweet and Winter Marjoram.
Hand of Hope: Samuel Alexander Armas
A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the paper, you probably will never see it.
Tracey Connelley, Baby P's Evil Mom, Shows NO Remorse
I have never been affected by any story as much as Baby P's story has affected me. Yesterday evening, I found myself sobbing twice! I just can't get over the sheer horror of the story.
Baby P's Murderers -- Why Are They Being Protected?
In my country, it has never happened before that the media and the people have been forbidden to actually reveal the names and faces of TC and SB, the murderers of Baby P.
That Winter The Wind Blows Finale: Did Oh Soo Die?
Over the holy week break, I spent the entire four days just watching the 15 episodes of this Korean show. Yes, I am a self-confessed Korean drama addict. I already have my favorite actors and actresses; albeit, I don’t know their names.
Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label songs. Show all posts
Oct 21, 2013
Goodnight Moon
I can't figure out which I like best - the original or this unplugged version. Nevertheless, I love this song.
Aug 7, 2013
Goodbye Girl
Tinay shared this video on our Facebook group page. She drew our notice to the comments section with her "Oh the stories shared on the comment section..." So, I checked out the video and read the comments. The stories are so sad - one lost love after another.
I read through them and felt my heart squeezing every now and then. One person said, "I always think about him...I don't know why." Another told her, "The only answer I could give you are soul mates. Time and space know boundary in terms of affection." So, Tinay, maybe that's an answer to your "why" too.
This song has a special meaning to me as well. It sort of comforted me a long time ago. I know now that the song might be true for some, but it's probably not true for most. So, I thought I'd leave my own little story along with the others. And that's what I did.
Mar 24, 2011
Feb 10, 2011
What Have I Been Up To? Let's See...Where Do I Start?
Mommy typically has problems with helpers. They just do not satisfy her. She'd initially be pleased with the efforts of a help, but fairly soon enough she'd find hundreds of reasons why she think she needs to let go of the help. To be truthful, sometimes, I think my mother needs a robot. So, sometimes, I worry about our present helper leaving us without notice.
Anyway, yesterday, our helper did not come to work. I was worried that she might be leaving us and I was wondering if she mentioned anything to Riley's yaya about her leaving.
So, I asked, "Beck, suya si Manay She ki Mommy?"
Beck, who did not understand my question, answered, "Iyo po."
I was taken aback. Oh, geeze, I thought. So, I continued, "Tano daa?"
Beck answered, "Dai daa po kaya nagtratrabaho."
Huh? That's weird, I thought. Does that mean she expects Mommy to work? So, I asked, "Anong dai nagtratrabaho?"
"Sige lang daa po kayang tukaw tukaw sa baba?" Beck answered quite matter-of-factly.
At this point, I was already irritated. How dare she, I thought. But driven by curiosity, I just had to ask, "nagtutukaw sa baba?"
"Iyo po daa, sige lang hugay."
Did I hear her right?
"Si Mama? Sigeng hugay?!?!"
Beck then looked at me, confused.
"Naghuhugay po si Mommy mo?"
"Sabi mo baga sigeng hugay si Mommy?"
"Ay dai man po baga? Si Manay Sheryl po baga naghuhugay ta makuto."
Okay, at this point, I was really, really confused.
"Bako po hinahapot mo sako kung anggot si Mommy mo ki Manay Sheryl?"
TOINKS!!!!
*sigh
Anyway, check this out -
Nice, huh? |The children in our neighborhood though have started to "steal" the fruits, which pisses the hell out of Mommy. You can hear her screaming at the top of her lungs in the morning for the past few weeks, "Hoy! Mga Lintek Kamo! Barababa kamo diyan! Paparaikit na naman nindo mga prutas ko, dai pa ngani ako kayan nakakakan!"
Yep, she's Mrs. Fruit Scrooge.
She reminds me of this old lady in Cabusao who used to run around with a bolo, threatening us when she sees us stealing fruits from her fruit trees - for the life of me, I don't know why her balimbing trees bore the sweetest, most delicious fruits in the whole barrio.
Cha Doreng.
May she rest in peace.
What happened to her? Oh, she was murdered in her sleep.
Seriously! Murdered probably by one of those kids she deprived of those delicious fruits in her backyard. Kidding! But she was really murdered. Someone broke into her house and stole all her money and stabbed her to death. I was so freaking scared when I learned about it.
I used to dream of her screaming at me for stealing indian mango from her fruit trees. The dreams stopped when I started praying for her soul and asking for her forgiveness for the fruits I stole. Seriously, I'm that weird.
Anyway, I told Mommy she reminds me of Cha Doreng every time she'd scream at the kids. She also screams at people who would steal the fruits of her banana trees. It's another matter, altogether though when she's dealing with adults. Mommy generally lose her balls.
Mommy has kang kong planted in front of our house. Every week, she'd see this old lady, harvesting her kang kong. She tried to ignore it until she couldn't take it anymore and she approached the old lady who was busily harvesting the plants.
She informed the woman, "sako baga yan." (Please take note this is a senior citizen addressing another senior citizen.)
The old lady frowned at her and asked, "Sigurado ka?"
Mommy answered, "iyo, ako daw kayan nagtanum? Tano mo tigkukurua?"
She was taken aback and left speechless when the old lady answered, "Ibebenta ko. Maimuton ka man. Idadagdag ko lang man sa pambakal ming bagas. Para lang kayan, maisipun ka!"
I was laughing my ass off at the old lady's sheer audacity when Mommy told me what happened. She really didn't know what to say after the woman accused her of being selfish. She kept asking me what she should have said.
Paige though guards Mommy's plants like their the jewels of the Crown of England. Speaking of Paige, it's very fortunate that she has had her MMR shots; othewise, she could have ended up with German Measles like her sister - :(
Dr. Setay said that Riley has German Measles, which aside from her medical opinion, just makes sense because Mommy's chicken boys had German Measles too several weeks ago.
She's feeling a whole lot better though - the rashes have cleared but there are dark marks on her skin. :(
This is a quite long post. I think I should just end this now and eat my lunch - Erbe's Chao Fan (yep, he cooked it). :)
Anyway, yesterday, our helper did not come to work. I was worried that she might be leaving us and I was wondering if she mentioned anything to Riley's yaya about her leaving.
So, I asked, "Beck, suya si Manay She ki Mommy?"
Beck, who did not understand my question, answered, "Iyo po."
I was taken aback. Oh, geeze, I thought. So, I continued, "Tano daa?"
Beck answered, "Dai daa po kaya nagtratrabaho."
Huh? That's weird, I thought. Does that mean she expects Mommy to work? So, I asked, "Anong dai nagtratrabaho?"
"Sige lang daa po kayang tukaw tukaw sa baba?" Beck answered quite matter-of-factly.
At this point, I was already irritated. How dare she, I thought. But driven by curiosity, I just had to ask, "nagtutukaw sa baba?"
"Iyo po daa, sige lang hugay."
Did I hear her right?
"Si Mama? Sigeng hugay?!?!"
Beck then looked at me, confused.
"Naghuhugay po si Mommy mo?"
"Sabi mo baga sigeng hugay si Mommy?"
"Ay dai man po baga? Si Manay Sheryl po baga naghuhugay ta makuto."
Okay, at this point, I was really, really confused.
"Bako po hinahapot mo sako kung anggot si Mommy mo ki Manay Sheryl?"
TOINKS!!!!
*sigh
Anyway, check this out -
This is the tree
that bore the fruit -
that Erbe is munching on. :)
Nice, huh? |The children in our neighborhood though have started to "steal" the fruits, which pisses the hell out of Mommy. You can hear her screaming at the top of her lungs in the morning for the past few weeks, "Hoy! Mga Lintek Kamo! Barababa kamo diyan! Paparaikit na naman nindo mga prutas ko, dai pa ngani ako kayan nakakakan!"
Yep, she's Mrs. Fruit Scrooge.
She reminds me of this old lady in Cabusao who used to run around with a bolo, threatening us when she sees us stealing fruits from her fruit trees - for the life of me, I don't know why her balimbing trees bore the sweetest, most delicious fruits in the whole barrio.
Cha Doreng.
May she rest in peace.
What happened to her? Oh, she was murdered in her sleep.
Seriously! Murdered probably by one of those kids she deprived of those delicious fruits in her backyard. Kidding! But she was really murdered. Someone broke into her house and stole all her money and stabbed her to death. I was so freaking scared when I learned about it.
I used to dream of her screaming at me for stealing indian mango from her fruit trees. The dreams stopped when I started praying for her soul and asking for her forgiveness for the fruits I stole. Seriously, I'm that weird.
Anyway, I told Mommy she reminds me of Cha Doreng every time she'd scream at the kids. She also screams at people who would steal the fruits of her banana trees. It's another matter, altogether though when she's dealing with adults. Mommy generally lose her balls.
Mommy has kang kong planted in front of our house. Every week, she'd see this old lady, harvesting her kang kong. She tried to ignore it until she couldn't take it anymore and she approached the old lady who was busily harvesting the plants.
She informed the woman, "sako baga yan." (Please take note this is a senior citizen addressing another senior citizen.)
Mommy answered, "iyo, ako daw kayan nagtanum? Tano mo tigkukurua?"
She was taken aback and left speechless when the old lady answered, "Ibebenta ko. Maimuton ka man. Idadagdag ko lang man sa pambakal ming bagas. Para lang kayan, maisipun ka!"
I was laughing my ass off at the old lady's sheer audacity when Mommy told me what happened. She really didn't know what to say after the woman accused her of being selfish. She kept asking me what she should have said.
Paige though guards Mommy's plants like their the jewels of the Crown of England. Speaking of Paige, it's very fortunate that she has had her MMR shots; othewise, she could have ended up with German Measles like her sister - :(
Dr. Setay said that Riley has German Measles, which aside from her medical opinion, just makes sense because Mommy's chicken boys had German Measles too several weeks ago.
 |
| Getting free consult from Dr. Settie |
 |
This is a quite long post. I think I should just end this now and eat my lunch - Erbe's Chao Fan (yep, he cooked it). :)
Feb 7, 2011
Why I Enjoy School
It's amazing how times have changed. This wasn't possible when I was in College - undergrad, I mean.
Anyway, these videos show exactly why I enjoy going to school. :)
I did not post my own video; however, I did my own stint. My partner and I sang. It was a KMN moment, but the grade I got was worth it. :)
Anyway, these videos show exactly why I enjoy going to school. :)
I did not post my own video; however, I did my own stint. My partner and I sang. It was a KMN moment, but the grade I got was worth it. :)
Jan 29, 2011
An Anniversary Post
You get to meet hundreds of people in your lifetime, but you only get to meet one person who'd touch your life and irreversibly change it.
Because, yes, there were bad days... and there were really, really bad days. And during these times, I'd usually find myself bartering with God. I'd make promises that I knew half of which I wouldn't be able to keep, but I made them anyway. I'd be crying my eyes out, praying for hours and bartering with God.
It's not easy... I knew it wouldn't be because my choice requires a lot of sacrifice. And sometimes, I find myself experiencing bouts of self-pity and I'd find myself lashing at him, blaming him for things that I've lost and things I probably will not have because I chose him and I chose a life with him. But at the end of the day, just before I go to sleep, I seek him.
Oh yes, you'll fall in-love a lot of times, but the real thing, you know, the kind that really rocks your world, you find that only once. That kind of love is silent. You barely know its there because it embraces you and refuses to let go.
p.s.
I should have posted this last December 30.
That's what happened to me.
You see, when I met my husband and chose to love my husband - and yes, it was a conscious decision - I knew it wouldn't be easy. I'd be threading grounds that few will likely have the courage to face. But I told myself that every good day is worth thousands of bad ones. Oh, there were days when I probably convinced myself otherwise.
Because, yes, there were bad days... and there were really, really bad days. And during these times, I'd usually find myself bartering with God. I'd make promises that I knew half of which I wouldn't be able to keep, but I made them anyway. I'd be crying my eyes out, praying for hours and bartering with God.And during these bad days, I clung on to the good days - days when we'd laugh our ass off over the silliest things. That doesn't happen often because my husband has the corniest sense of humor, so I'd often find myself rolling my eyes over one of his corny quips. Still, I treasure them.
I treasure the quiet moments. You know, those moments when the world is asleep, and we'd find ourselves whispering stories that we probably have told each other a hundred times before. Sometimes, I'd find myself asking him to tell me a story and finding myself prompting him on parts that I already know.
During the bad days, I only had the good days to cling on to.
It's not easy... I knew it wouldn't be because my choice requires a lot of sacrifice. And sometimes, I find myself experiencing bouts of self-pity and I'd find myself lashing at him, blaming him for things that I've lost and things I probably will not have because I chose him and I chose a life with him. But at the end of the day, just before I go to sleep, I seek him.I seek him because despite what everyone might think, it's I who need him. I probably need him more than he needs me.
Life is not easy sometimes for both of us. For one thing, we can never really say goodbye to his white pill. We'll always have a threesome with that small white bottle. But I will never exchange any of this for anything else. Yes, I could have easily just walked away, but love is not something you walk away from. You find it only once.
Oh yes, you'll fall in-love a lot of times, but the real thing, you know, the kind that really rocks your world, you find that only once. That kind of love is silent. You barely know its there because it embraces you and refuses to let go.You see, sometimes, love comes in an package that you can easily rip. Sometimes, it doesn't. Our story is not your typical story. We probably started with your usual boy-meets-girl theme, but it's definitely not a fairy tale. Ironically, however, I ended up with my own Prince, yes, he might be a little bit rough around the edges, but with a little dusting, he's definitely a keeper.
And that is why I kept him.
And I'm blessed that he definitely does not let any day passed without making me feel that I am a keeper too. :)
I should have posted this last December 30.
Jan 28, 2011
Mamu
 |
| Mamu |
Yesterday while eating lunch, Mamu asked me about what I'd do with the hectares of rice fields they own once she - they - pass away. I didn't want to talk about her passing away, so I covered my ears and like a child, I started making unintelligible sounds to drown out what she was saying.
I didn't want to talk about her dying. I like to believe that she'll be around for me to spoil when I can finally afford it. I want her to live for another 50 years - so that I'll have enough time to give back everything she gave me. The sacrifices she made for our family - they're immeasurable.
I want her around because I simply cannot imagine my life without ever hearing her laugh again. It's as simple as that. I derive great pleasure out of making her laugh - and these days, that has seemingly became my role.
My sister used to make her laugh too. Kris certainly has a huge talent for making my mother laugh so hard that she'd be gasping for air. It's easy to make my mother laugh because she loves laughing. She's silly and funny - and that is why most people she meets fall in-love with her.
Mamu is not feeling well these days - and every time she complains about something hurt, I panic. The past few years, my mother has become one of my best friends. We've graduated from having just a mere mother-daughter relationship to being friends as well. If there is one person in my life that I'm not ready to lose, apart from my daughters - that'd be Mamu. I don't think I'll ever be ready to lose her.
Right now, I can't afford her to give her heart's desires, so I'll just have to settle with making sure that I'll be able to make her laugh a lot more each day.
On the contrary, this is my I-love-my-husband-but-god-how-I'd-love-to-scalp-his-head-off-at-this-very-moment-because-he's-pissing-the-hell-out-of-me post.. I will not go into details, but fuck it. fuck it. fuck it.
And the weird thing about this is that the cause of my
Sigh. I really should learn how to pick my fights.
Jan 25, 2011
Should You Keep In Touch With Your Ex?
Earlier this evening, my hubby and I were talking about his ex. He told me she does not seem to be that interested in being friends with him because she seems fairly dismissive in her emails - and in fact, she does not reply to some of his emails.
Okay, you might be thinking that I should be throwing the biggest fit of the century with this announcement, but I didn't. Of course, the thought of him sending her emails left a bad taste in my mouth, but not bad enough for me to throw a fit. I told him though that he should refrain from sending her messages since she obviously is not interested in staying friends with him.
"You're only giving her the impression that you are still hang up on her," I told him. And in my opinion, it does. Because seriously, why would you keep sending messages to someone who just doesn't give a helluva f**k if you still exist, right?
Anyway, this made me think - and think...and think...and think.
Would you keep in touch with an ex? And why would you? And why wouldn't you?
In my opinion, I think the answer would depend upon several things.
Let's take my hubby's ex for instance. Perhaps, she's just the type who believes that exes should stay where they belong - the past. Perhaps, she thinks that E is still into her, so she needs to discourage him. Perhaps, she just hates his guts for what he did to her before. Whatever her reason/s might be, she prefers that they do not keep in touch. She's not completely rude, but she obviously does not want to exchange emails.
Let's take Mr. A and Ms. B, for example, two people who never really broke their ties even after they broke up and who still admit to being in-love with one another after years of being apart - and being married to other people. That's another reason for keeping in touch with your ex, but I honestly doubt if that is healthy. At the end of the day, that kind of tie will only break your heart again and again and again.
And then, let's see, there's me! I am in-touch with a couple of exes. And yes, E knows about this. It irritates him. One ex, I am in-touch with because, well, because I just don't care enough to bother about not being in touch with him. He doesn't affect me in any way, so talking to him does not even warrant an analysis of the act. So, if he sends a message, I answer. I don't dismiss him. He doesn't even warrant a dismissal. I don't waste any emotion on him. And that's that.
The other one? He's a friend. He was a friend long before he became something else. Now, this one is a little bit complicated. Since after all, he is hiding the fact that we're keeping in touch from his partner. It amuses me. Sometimes, it irritates me. Nowadays, it has become a bit insulting. But he has his reasons, so... Anyway, the lines are clearly drawn. It may be amusing to flirt with the boundaries of these lines, but they're there nonetheless.
I read this article - Keep in Touch with Exes or Cut Ties? - and the comments offer interesting views.
So, what do you think? Should you keep in touch with your ex? Or should you cut ties?
I think it's okay to do so as long as you are honest with yourself about why you are keeping in touch with your ex (and why you want to) and as long as you know you are not sticking around with the hope that you will get back together. If feelings still exist for both or either of you, it is definitely not healthy to be in constant communication with your ex. That only leads to misery. That only screws you up and messes with your head. But then again, that's just my opinion. I'm not an expert.
So, I'd better stop here. I am beginning to feel like I'm writing a paid article and not just blogging. Geeze.
Jan 24, 2011
Silly Paige Videos
I think she got this from me - the comedian. :) She can be so freaking silly. She's generally a funny and happy little girl. She's creative and she can talk up a storm. She's 4 turning 40 - like I always say. :)
Jan 21, 2011
Crappy Pictures But Good Memories
We took - what feels like - hundreds of pictures, but these are the only decent ones. Ironically, they're still crappy. :)
I didn't want to post this in Facebook, so I thought I'd just post it here. After all, I will not bother anyone if I post it here. It's my blog after all. I can put up pictures of me crapping if I want to. so, that's that.
I didn't want to post this in Facebook, so I thought I'd just post it here. After all, I will not bother anyone if I post it here. It's my blog after all. I can put up pictures of me crapping if I want to. so, that's that.
2011 First Entry: Being Sentimental
It's 3 in the morning. It's foggy outside. Go figure. Sometimes, I feel like my life is exactly like that - foggy. Half of the time, I am not sure if I am doing the right thing...pursuing the right thing. Sometimes, I feel like I am doing impossible leaps of faith. Yes, that's redundant.
Anyway, I just took a bath - yes, at 3 in the morning. Looking out of the window though, I noticed that it's a bright night, albeit foggy. The romantic in me kicked in. I love foggy nights. I love foggy mornings.
I wanted to write something sensible, but I guess I'm - once again - rambling. It has been a while since I wrote anything sensible or even remotely funny. Truth be told, a lot of things have happened, but I seemed to have lost my penchant for blogging. Sometimes, I think I was only blogging because of him.
I guess it was my way of telling him my story...It was my way of telling him what was happening to me.
After all these years.
Oh, well. I'm finally cured of that affliction now (or so I tell myself). The medicine came in a handsome package - one with a cute butt. :)
Lately, I have been reading status updates in Facebook, stuffs like, "Why do I still miss you after all these years?" OR updates like, "I have forgotten how you smell like...finally." OR something like, "I am almost over you..."
I realized this is a redundant story. Nobody has monopoly over this type of story. It's sad though. Sometimes, I find myself irritated with these kinds of updates. I find myself almost tempted to leave a nasty comment like, "Oh, get over it! Go bury yourself and spare us the crap!" or something even nastier.
But I can't.
You see, I was one of them. Ironically, I was hurt like hell, but it was difficult to let go. I guess it's always hard to let go of a good thing. On the other hand, it's always easy to let go of a crappy relationship and an ass of a boyfriend.
The other night, my friend texted me. She was crying over her boyfriend who broke up with her for the nth time. It has practically became a hobby between them to break up every now and then. It's hard to sympathize when you know for a fact that fairly soon enough they'd be back in each other's arms. Some people are lucky like that.
Don't get me wrong though. I am happy - and no, I am not convincing myself of that. I am. I am just so tired all the time. I just received a back massage from E, so I am a bit relaxed right now and sentimental. Did I say back massage? Oh yes, that's his way of helping me relax after a stressful day. I am just lucky like that. :)
But who's the guy I was blogging for?
Well, that's for me to know and for you to just wonder about. :))
Dec 5, 2010
Ramblings of an Exhausted Mind
I am tired. I am so tired that the minute I close my eyes, I immediately go to REM. I swear! I think I have probably taken on more than I can chew, but I am dealing with them. I function at 5-6 hours a day - and if I get at least 7 hours of sleep, I am very happy.
I am freaking exhausted, but I am having fun - a helluva lot of fun.
I went back to school, and I realized I love studying. I love learning. I love the rush. I'd probably go back for more.
Life is funny sometimes.
No, scratch that. Life is such a freaking joker. It's like a freaking monster that rears up every now and then, and bites you where it hurts like hell - your ass.
God, I am tired. Have I said that already? I am so tired that my mind goes blank as I try to write something. Everything is the same, truth be told. But I love the fact that I am owning my life - or at least have taken the steps to owning it.
Every now and then, I allow myself to think. Unfortunately, that's not too often.
I am rambling. You do not have to read.
Earlier, I was asked by my professor, "What do you do when you are doing nothing?"
I can't think of anything because I have been so busy with a lot of things that I have forgotten the last time I was "doing nothing". Of course, I find the question a bit ridiculous. I don't think that there's really ever a time that you are not doing anything, right?
I am freaking exhausted, but I am having fun - a helluva lot of fun.
I went back to school, and I realized I love studying. I love learning. I love the rush. I'd probably go back for more.
Life is funny sometimes.
No, scratch that. Life is such a freaking joker. It's like a freaking monster that rears up every now and then, and bites you where it hurts like hell - your ass.
God, I am tired. Have I said that already? I am so tired that my mind goes blank as I try to write something. Everything is the same, truth be told. But I love the fact that I am owning my life - or at least have taken the steps to owning it.
Every now and then, I allow myself to think. Unfortunately, that's not too often.
I am rambling. You do not have to read.
Earlier, I was asked by my professor, "What do you do when you are doing nothing?"
I can't think of anything because I have been so busy with a lot of things that I have forgotten the last time I was "doing nothing". Of course, I find the question a bit ridiculous. I don't think that there's really ever a time that you are not doing anything, right?
Play of words.
Still, I haven't been asked questions like that for such a long time, so I kind of enjoyed the debate. My teacher, a philosophy teacher, is a bit progressive in his approach to teaching. He's actually fun - and he's learn-ed.
I am rambling, I know. Again, you don't have to read. I am actually trying to think of something to write, but god, I am exhausted. I really should just hit the sack and work tomorrow. I need the rest.
The Gary V. concert and the trip to Legaspi will definitely do me good.
Anyway, let me share some photos. These are just a few of the things that made me smile the past couple of weeks, I think. :)
Still, I haven't been asked questions like that for such a long time, so I kind of enjoyed the debate. My teacher, a philosophy teacher, is a bit progressive in his approach to teaching. He's actually fun - and he's learn-ed.
I am rambling, I know. Again, you don't have to read. I am actually trying to think of something to write, but god, I am exhausted. I really should just hit the sack and work tomorrow. I need the rest.
The Gary V. concert and the trip to Legaspi will definitely do me good.
Anyway, let me share some photos. These are just a few of the things that made me smile the past couple of weeks, I think. :)
Nov 23, 2010
A Fork in the Road
I can't sleep - and damn it, I feel like I can't breathe. I am trying to hold back tears and I am failing miserably.
I am not good at this. I hate this. Ironically, I should be very good at this. I have had 16 years of practice, but this is not easy for me.
I should be sleeping. I have just put Riley to bed for the nth time. I am tired and my stomach hurts. But I can't sleep. It's actually quite pathetic.
But after 5 years of having him near me - and being with him 24/7, it sucks not to have him around at all times.
Sacrifices, they say, are a part of marriage. I should know. I grew up without my mother. Still, this is hard.
I feel I can't breathe. He's not even that far. But once or twice a week is a huge change from everyday 24/7. It's hard not to have him around to tell things to when something amuses me, enrages me, hurts me, fascinates me...
You see, after five years of marriage, my husband is not only the love of my life, he is also my very best friend.
Crying helps, I think. It is healing. At least, I don't have my emotions bottled up inside me anymore. That is another fuck up thing though - he's the only who can comfort me when I am depressed or sad. And I don't have that source of comfort with me right now.
I have to be strong though because I always have to be the stronger one. What makes me even sadder though is the fact that Paige is going to miss him badly. Oh, well. At least I got to let that all out.
Forgive me. I shouldn't be blogging this, but I need to.
I am not good at this. I hate this. Ironically, I should be very good at this. I have had 16 years of practice, but this is not easy for me.
I should be sleeping. I have just put Riley to bed for the nth time. I am tired and my stomach hurts. But I can't sleep. It's actually quite pathetic.
But after 5 years of having him near me - and being with him 24/7, it sucks not to have him around at all times.
Sacrifices, they say, are a part of marriage. I should know. I grew up without my mother. Still, this is hard.
I feel I can't breathe. He's not even that far. But once or twice a week is a huge change from everyday 24/7. It's hard not to have him around to tell things to when something amuses me, enrages me, hurts me, fascinates me...
You see, after five years of marriage, my husband is not only the love of my life, he is also my very best friend.
Crying helps, I think. It is healing. At least, I don't have my emotions bottled up inside me anymore. That is another fuck up thing though - he's the only who can comfort me when I am depressed or sad. And I don't have that source of comfort with me right now.
I have to be strong though because I always have to be the stronger one. What makes me even sadder though is the fact that Paige is going to miss him badly. Oh, well. At least I got to let that all out.
Forgive me. I shouldn't be blogging this, but I need to.
Nov 8, 2010
Morbid Threats
Paige is a sassy, silly, funny little girl, but she can be a pain in the ass too. My father calls her "Paige the Menace".
I toyed with the idea of downloading Dennis the Menace for her, but I changed my mind - she might end up burning the whole neighborhood.
I once blogged about the possibility of her having ADHD. Sussette assured me though that she did not see any reason why I should think Paige has it. Although my worry has abated, I still find myself wondering if I should get Paige checked for the condition.
Anyway, I think Paige's problem is not ADHD - it's actually the utter and complete lack of discipline. No, scratch that,we I discipline her, but it's hard after years of being spoiled by her grandmother.
Anyway, I digress. Yesterday evening, my mother was watching TV while Paige stood in front of the mirror busily removing her boogers. :)
After a few minutes, she casually went to my mother and wiped her fingers on my mother's cheek. And she started laughing.
Busily watching her soap operas, my mother didn't know that she had boogers on her cheeks until I pointed them out to her.
Naturally, Mamu got mad and she started lecturing Paige. "Bad yan baby! Sabi ko baga saimo, maaanggot ang angel mo. Mauugma ang devil. Sige ka kukuanun ka kang devil, ano Tere?"
Turning to me, she said, "Ne, yan na ngunian ang patakot ko saiya."
She once again addressed Paige, "Tapos magagadan ka, ano Tere?" Magagadan? I thought. She continued, "Tapos ilulubong ka... tapos maruluwas ang mga bulate sa dungo mo... "
Bulate sa dungo? I thought.
"...maruluwas pati halas sa mata mo, ano Tere?"
Aghast, I just stood there silent. I couldn't believe what she was saying. Then she asked again, "Ano, Tere?"
I gave out a big sigh and then promptly turned away, muttering, "Morbidun man po Mommy pigpaparasabi mo." I could hear my mother's laughter while I walked away.
I toyed with the idea of downloading Dennis the Menace for her, but I changed my mind - she might end up burning the whole neighborhood.
I once blogged about the possibility of her having ADHD. Sussette assured me though that she did not see any reason why I should think Paige has it. Although my worry has abated, I still find myself wondering if I should get Paige checked for the condition.
Anyway, I think Paige's problem is not ADHD - it's actually the utter and complete lack of discipline. No, scratch that,
Anyway, I digress. Yesterday evening, my mother was watching TV while Paige stood in front of the mirror busily removing her boogers. :)
After a few minutes, she casually went to my mother and wiped her fingers on my mother's cheek. And she started laughing.
Busily watching her soap operas, my mother didn't know that she had boogers on her cheeks until I pointed them out to her.
Naturally, Mamu got mad and she started lecturing Paige. "Bad yan baby! Sabi ko baga saimo, maaanggot ang angel mo. Mauugma ang devil. Sige ka kukuanun ka kang devil, ano Tere?"
Turning to me, she said, "Ne, yan na ngunian ang patakot ko saiya."
She once again addressed Paige, "Tapos magagadan ka, ano Tere?" Magagadan? I thought. She continued, "Tapos ilulubong ka... tapos maruluwas ang mga bulate sa dungo mo... "
Bulate sa dungo? I thought.
"...maruluwas pati halas sa mata mo, ano Tere?"
Aghast, I just stood there silent. I couldn't believe what she was saying. Then she asked again, "Ano, Tere?"
I gave out a big sigh and then promptly turned away, muttering, "Morbidun man po Mommy pigpaparasabi mo." I could hear my mother's laughter while I walked away.
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