An Open Letter to Teacher Mots of Teacher's Pwet

Dear Mots,

It's just sad that you are already taken. My friend has a HUGE crush on you. You seriously have an awesome effect on her.

Sincerely,
ME

P.S. I know I am doing a poor job on "marketing" my friend right now, but I doubt it if your girlfriend would appreciate this blog post.

P.P.S. You have got to admit this is flattering though. As you would say, la lungs. :)

Read More

It Just Occurred to Me That...

Read More

PFUML

 

What does that stand for?

Pretty Fucked Up Miserable Life.

Depressed. Angry. Confused. Worried. Miserable.

Let me wallow.

Read More

Mushrooms

Read More

Hey.

I LOVE YOU.

Read More

My Love Affair with the Moon

Have you seen the moon tonight? It's a full moon.  It's breathtaking. I think I've once told someone that the easiest way to feel close to anyone you love who is far from from you is to look at the moon.  You see, it doesn't really matter where you are.  If you both look up, you will be looking at the same moon.  Distance doesn't seem so great if you think of it like that.  Of course, the person I was telling this to before was in the same time zone as I was.

Have you ever bathed with moon light streaming down your bathroom window, hitting you with its warmth? It feels good.  No, scratch that - it feels freaking great.  There is something about the moon that I just love.  I'm in love with it.  You can say it's my lover.  I am having an affair with it.  Oh, well, I'm just being a sentimental fool again.  

Read More

The Creature

Today was an... interesting day. Yes, interesting, that's the word. It describes exactly how this day went.  It was interesting enough to warrant a blog entry.

I met up with Lynette, Lex (Nette's baby), Che and Sette for lunch.  Erbe and Paige were with me, but Erbe was just there to eat and run.  He had some stuffs to take care of, so he couldn't stay long.  Anyway, this would have been an uneventful day if not for the fact that I saw a tweet from someone I hope to avoid - or to not see until the day I die - saying that this Earthling is also breathing the same SM air that I was breathing.

Initial reaction? Hm. Yes, just one m. hm.  I told Nette and Che (Sette and Erbe already left by this time) about it and as expected they'd began teasing. Nette said that if she were me, she'd be going crazy already.  But I said, "I'm not." Yeah, right. SNORT!

Of course, Che is quite curious about this particular homo sapiens because although the "being's" name has been mentioned quite a lot of times in our conversations, she hasn't seen or met this earthling.  After some fateful revelations I did not too long ago, her curiosity is quite piqued.  Anyway, they wanted to "accidentally" run into this creature. I refused however because.. well, I'm just an effing scaredy cat.  I told them that we will just have to try to avoid this creature at all cost and yes, remain in our seats until the coast was clear.  That's what we did.  They were bummed and afterwards, irritated and bored.

So, I had no choice, but to agree to get up.  All the while, I was dutifully mumbling prayers that I wouldn't run into this creature.  To make matters worst, Che said, "Dai ka pati nakaayos." 
It was like she was telling me I looked like some bedraggled bag lady from Timbuktu.

I retorted, "Sisay man maisip na mangungudto man ito digdi?"

Che volleyed back, "Dapat arug ka ki nette pirming prepared."

Prepared my ass.  Hurramph!  

This prompted me to ask for virtual help which my good but sadistic friend (coz she derived immense pleasure from my dire strait) Tinay.  Being the good friend that she is, she helped me and asked the Creature to leave the place.

I was relieved to learn that this Creature wasn't there anymore. I expelled a huge sigh of relief. And I happily went my way.  We had our pictures taken.  We bought some tokens for the kids' rides and happily took pictures.

See?  Happy!

But alas!  All this happiness dissolved when once again I learned from a tweet that the Creature came back - like a really bad nightmare or a bad case of bacteria infestation that you couldn't just shake off with antibiotics, he was there ONCE-freakin'-again!  So, I reverted back to praying.  (Yes, you idiot, I was praying!)  Anyway, Tinay was quite...entertained.  The Creature was having immense fun as well - both at my expense (insert eyes rolling).  My misery was an amusement to both of them.

I couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave.  Like a dog between his legs, I fled.  I freaking fled, dragged Paige out of the mall and fled. It was only later that I learned that this Creature was just pulling my leg. just having fun. *sigh*

Anyway, I resolved that I'd make IT pay.  I swear the Creature would rue this day!  One day I'd have my revenge. Bwahahahahaha!

Okay, this post is for the benefit of the Creature and Tinay. I suppose if you're not them, you'd think this stupid. I don't care. You should have stopped after the first paragraph anyway, why are you still reading this? Why? Why? oh, well. I'm finished already. You've read the whole thing. So, what do you think? Who's the Creature in the story?  What is its significance to me?  Why was I avoiding this Creature?  Why do I want to avoid the Creature? Matinding pag-isip isip ang kailangan. Amen. :)

Read More

My Blog. My Narcissism.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"work to undo the knots tying her hands. Panic made"

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
Left hand touches paige's hand. Right hand touches my green pouch.

Before you started this, what were you doing?
Looking for romcom movies to download.

Without looking, guess what time it is
2:00?

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
It's actually 1 A.M. Wasted 30 minutes of my time. I'm wasting it again. I should be working!

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Very noisy aircon.  That reminds me we need to get this clean ASAP.

(check out the link below for more. If you  are interested enough to actually consider clicking on it, you love me. Yes, you do. I don't care who you are. You wouldn't be that interested to read more about me if you hate me - unless of course, you're Erbe's ex then you just have a morbid fascination with me. In that case, you need to get yourself checked - or you need to get a life. fast.)

Read More

Manila Trip

The Manila trip was both good and bad.  The plan didn't work out and we were all so exhausted from travelling, but we had fun visiting Erbe's sister.  At one point, I spent an hour or so, watching these senior citizens do a dance marathon.  It was crazy!  They were all wearing sexy outfits and they danced for hours.  People were snickering at some outfits, but I was both amazed and amused by their stamina and guts. This was in SM Molino.

Check out the photos above.  Word of Advice: If you are tall and you plan on visiting Bacoor, Cavite and you don't have a car, prepare to crawl inside their tricycles.  They are so tiny and built so low, so close to the ground.  I just had to take pictures.

Paige wanted to ride here.  This was in SM Bacoor.  I didn't have a choice but to get on the ride with her.  You'd think after all the hellish rides in Jerudong Park that I'd find this boring, but I was scared!  My reaction was effing hilarious.  Okay, give me some credit. Those rounded things are small and a little movement on my park shakes it.  So, while Paige was screaming, "Yipee!" I was crazily signalling the operator to finish the damn ride. I just couldn't wait to get out. You should try it out.  Get a kid though. You'd feel weird getting in without a kid in tow.

Read More

Generations of Garchitorena

This is Erbe's grandparents.
 His grandfather is 100% Spanish.

His father is 50% Spanish.

Erbe is 25% Spanish.

and his daughters are -

100% OLAVERE'S!!! 

:))

Read More

To Whom It May Concern

Read More

Eureka!

I realized that you are just a mere hobby, an uninteresting one.  
You no longer matter though. 
In fact, even the thought of you BORES me.
Oh, well.

Read More

My Big Toe

I am generally far from being nice. I can be very, very mean when I want to, so basically, I deserve this.  I deserve this because I chose not to say anything when that woman kept pushing on my toe with her nasty tools.  I guess she wanted to remove the effing ingrown - and this is the reason why I chose to keep my mouth shut.

I did not even glare at her when I saw the blood spurting from my toe!  Yes, spurting!  I chose to keep my mouth shut, so basically this is my fault.  I should have just kicked her to kingdom come, but I didn't.

I deserve this.

This.

It's swollen - and it has pus which is - well, just disgusting to say the least. And it's really painful too.  It has this flesh-thingy sticking out.

I  deserve the fever and the pain.

oh why, oh why didn't I say anything?!

Read More

Should You Keep In Touch With Your Ex?

Earlier this evening, my hubby and I were talking about his ex. He told me she does not seem to be that interested in being friends with him because she seems fairly dismissive in her emails - and in fact, she does not reply to some of his emails.

Okay, you might be thinking that I should be throwing the biggest fit of the century with this announcement, but I didn't. Of course, the thought of him sending her emails left a bad taste in my mouth, but not bad enough for me to throw a fit. I told him though that he should refrain from sending her messages since she obviously is not interested in staying friends with him.

"You're only giving her the impression that you are still hang up on her," I told him. And in my opinion, it does. Because seriously, why would you keep sending messages to someone who just doesn't give a helluva f**k if you still exist, right?

Anyway, this made me think - and think...and think...and think.

Would you keep in touch with an ex? And why would you? And why wouldn't you?

In my opinion, I think the answer would depend upon several things.

Let's take my hubby's ex for instance. Perhaps, she's just the type who believes that exes should stay where they belong - the past. Perhaps, she thinks that E is still into her, so she needs to discourage him. Perhaps, she just hates his guts for what he did to her before. Whatever her reason/s might be, she prefers that they do not keep in touch. She's not completely rude, but she obviously does not want to exchange emails.

Let's take Mr. A and Ms. B, for example, two people who never really broke their ties even after they broke up and who still admit to being in-love with one another after years of being apart - and being married to other people. That's another reason for keeping in touch with your ex, but I honestly doubt if that is healthy. At the end of the day, that kind of tie will only break your heart again and again and again.

And then, let's see, there's me! I am in-touch with a couple of exes. And yes, E knows about this. It irritates him. One ex, I am in-touch with because, well, because I just don't care enough to bother about not being in touch with him. He doesn't affect me in any way, so talking to him does not even warrant an analysis of the act. So, if he sends a message, I answer. I don't dismiss him. He doesn't even warrant a dismissal. I don't waste any emotion on him. And that's that.

The other one? He's a friend. He was a friend long before he became something else. Now, this one is a little bit complicated. Since after all, he is hiding the fact that we're keeping in touch from his partner. It amuses me. Sometimes, it irritates me. Nowadays, it has become a bit insulting. But he has his reasons, so... Anyway, the lines are clearly drawn. It may be amusing to flirt with the boundaries of these lines, but they're there nonetheless.

I read this article - Keep in Touch with Exes or Cut Ties? - and the comments offer interesting views.

So, what do you think? Should you keep in touch with your ex? Or should you cut ties?

I think it's okay to do so as long as you are honest with yourself about why you are keeping in touch with your ex (and why you want to) and as long as you know you are not sticking around with the hope that you will get back together. If feelings still exist for both or either of you, it is definitely not healthy to be in constant communication with your ex. That only leads to misery. That only screws you up and messes with your head. But then again, that's just my opinion. I'm not an expert.

So, I'd better stop here. I am beginning to feel like I'm writing a paid article and not just blogging. Geeze.

Read More

I'm the Sun! Hah!

Early this morning, I opened up my Google Reader and checked out interesting blog posts from bloggers I follow. I giggled at Mot's entries. He is a blogger I recently followed by the way. If he is single, I would have tried to match him up with Ms. Francisco. But she's probably tired of matchmaking by now and she'd likely kill me if I dare make the suggestion. After all, she has been quite vocal about her depression. Why are you depressed by the way?

Anyway, I came across Luna's latest entry entitled "What Time of the Day Are You?" I'd usually roll my eyes at this kind of erm.. crap test (sorry Luns) but Luna's test result was -- well, poetic.

You’re the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it’s not because you’re lazy — it’s because you know there’s no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that’s held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky.

pale bluish gray... sparkly with dew... mug held with both hands ♨ ... see? poetic. (By the way, luns, this perfectly describes you.)

She's 6:49 a.m. I like that. She's 6:49 in the morning - and I wondered what time of the day am I? Am I 7:33? 5:42? 9:15? I wanted to know what time of the day am I as well. So, anyway, I did some Google search to look for the test and I got it. I don't know if it's the right one though. I was not given a specific hour/minute. Instead, I got this result -

You Are Sunrise
You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts.

All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

I like this one too. :)
It reminded me of a card I received from a friend. I think I talked about this before. I have received a lot of compliments - I'd likely kill myself if I hadn't... I'm freaking 30 years old. I should be entitled to a few compliments thrown my way, but anyway I digress.

As I was saying, the best compliment I have ever received was given by a girl friend, Cheryl. Back in 2003 (I remember this distinctly because I was with my ass-ex when I got it. I was dating an ass - and you can't forget an ass especially if it bit you in the butt - figuratively speaking, of course). She gave me a Christmas card and it said, "You are like the Sun ☼. Everything gravitates towards you."

I think it's as good as one can get. I'm the freaking sun. Hah. Beat that. This test just confirms it. ☺ The cooking and buying gifts part though is not true. I'm too stingy for that. ♥

Read More

Glimpse

I came across this article. It is supposed to suggest blog topics, but I find the questions interesting. I decided to make a meme out of them. I hope the author wouldn't mind.

1. What was the funniest/nastiest/most memorable prank you ever pulled on someone?

I cut Erbe's armpit hairs. One time, I wasn't careful and he moved and I accidentally cut the skin! Needless to say, he was pissed.

2. Describe your first date/first kiss. Hmm.. did you see stars or you just felt gross?

Amazing. Of course, I didn't know any better, but yeah…'twas great. Second serving, anyone? LOL.

3. What is scariest experience you had?

When my sister and I almost drowned. Yeah, that beats everything else. Seeing ghosts does not even come close to it. I was more scared for her than for me. I was carrying her on my back. I could swim, she couldn't.

4. What kind of games did you play as a kid?

I played a lot of games but I was damn good at Chinese Garter. Give the long legs the credit they deserve! Hurray!

5. What do you miss most about your childhood?

The sheer simplicity of it.

6. What kind of child where you? Shy? A bully? Popular? Loner? Stubborn?

I was a loner. I had friends, but I think I was a loner – this is the reason why I discovered books in the first place. I frequent the library that it didn't take me long to discover Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys.

7. Do you have any phobias? what thing do you fear most?

FIRE – I am really, really scared of it.

8. Who was your celebrity crush during your teens?

Luke Perry of Beverly Hills 90210.

9. What outfit did you wear before that you swore you'd never wear again? If you have photos and the right amount of courage, then post it!

10. Do you have any regrets? What's the biggest mistake you ever made?

No Regrets. That's the rule I live by. One can't live with regrets because they can suck you dry. You make your bed, you lie on it – and that's that.

12. What's the weirdest/hardest/funniest job you ever had?

Being a Mother – it's not easy being one.

13. What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?

God! Where do I start?! Oh yeah, I can start with the latest – having my pants ripped off in public. My ass was studiously staring out into the world!

14. What's your wildest dream?

BLEEP! BLEEP! Censored!!!

Read More

10 Things That Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew

I came across this article and I frowned my way through it. The author is a chauvinistic jerk. Seriously! I agree with some of the things he said but I take offense at the whole article. IT reeks of chauvinism. Perhaps, if you have testicles, you will like disagree with me. Perhaps, if you are nitwit, you will likely disagree with me. However, if you know your worth, you will take offense at some of the things written there. It's so freaking backward. Take this sentence for instance, "Submission means being subject to your husband in everything. Wives you can only win your man by submitting to him."

In everything??? Hell no! Thank you, but I have brains too and I can very well think for myself. I can do compromise, but there is no way in friggin' hell I will "submit to my husband in everything". It's the word "everything" that scares me. That's so Stepford wife. Why not switch me on now, Darling, so I can freaking smile? Why not switch me off now, Sweetheart, so I can sit? Why not kill me while you're at it? I need some batteries, Honey, my brain cells are almost gone now.

Well, anyway, not all of you will likely agree with me, but that's where I stand. I never understood the "submission" part. I would though if I live in a cave and I eat raw brains of yolk.

I can relate to this article much better. The writer is less of a chauvinistic pig.

As you can probably surmise I am not a perfect wife. I am far from perfect. If I will rate myself from 1 to 10, I am somewhere between -9 to -10 – that's how awful I am. Yes, I can do sweet, thoughtful and caring, but I am better at being grouchy and bitchy. I snapped, snipped and bite. And God, I am very good at cutting people to pieces with words. I can do mean and I can do nasty really well. So, no, I am not a good wife. However, I have a saint for a husband and that's why this marriage works.

The articles I've read, however, made me think of Things That Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew. So, here goes my list. (Ba, you'd better be reading this!)

1. Even when your wife is mad at you and she screams for you to "get your hands off me", she really means, "I really need a hug." Don't in any circumstances walk away or open the computer to check out your Facebook page while you wait for your wife to simmer down. That's like throwing the gauntlet down at Bin Laden. Of course, there are times when she really means "get your hands off her or she'll bloody rip those things apart". You should know when to tell the difference. Ba, in my case, I rarely mean the latter.
   

   
   

2. When your wife complains of aches and pains, listen. Don't give her a nonchalant, inattentive, "oh yeah?" while you continue to stare intently at some classmate's picture in Facebook. You are inciting her to blow up. You don't want to end up complaining of aches and pains yourself, would you? Pay attention and give her the hugs and kisses she needs – and throw in the best offer you can give – "Would you like a massage, honey?" That will definitely earn you some good loving from her later.
   

   
   

3. Please remember to take off your shoes before you enter the room. You may not think that doesn't matter, but it does. Ignoring her request hurts her. It's not just an issue of dirty floors anymore. It's an issue of respecting her wishes. How difficult is it to take off those bloody shoes anyway?
   

   
   

4. If men/husbands need to be appreciated, women and wives feel the same. Wives need to know that their husbands are still attracted to them. When once upon a time, you can't walk in public without holding her hand, why stop now? You have more right to do so now that she is your wife. Let her know you are proud of her and that you appreciate her by making sure that she is beside you every step of the way.
   

   
   

5. When your wife touches or kisses you, it doesn't mean she wants to have sex. Well, maybe – sometimes, but definitely not all the time. So, down boy! Sometimes, all your wife wants is some good snuggling and kissing.
   

   
   

6. When you ask your wife, "What's wrong?" and she answers you with, "Nothing." Uh.huh. That means something is definitely up. Grab a chair and a cup of coffee and get ready for a long conversation. While you're at it, be ready to admit that "it's all your fault" because trust me, the "nothing" won't end unless you do so. When you're wife exhibits that mood, you can't talk her out of it.
   

   
   

7. Romance. It never goes out of style. Romance means not farting, cleaning your nose or scratching your butt in front of your wife. Do not let romance slip away. Once it does, you'd be left with a cranky, bored wife. And you don't want a cranky, bored wife. Remember, misery loves company.
   

   
   

8. Do not look at other women when you're with your wife. It's disrespectful. Trust me, she knows your type. She'd know who you would be looking at even before you actually turn to look. Wives are sharp that way. No, we don't have superpowers. We just know you too well.
   

   
   

9. Do not dismiss her thoughts and feelings. Even if you think she's wrong, respect her thoughts and feelings. They are hers and these things are real to her. She needs you to respect them. You may not agree with her, but do not commit the mistake of dismissing her thoughts and feelings as valid.
   

   
   

10. Do not forget to say "I love you". Your wife loves to hear it. And no, "I love you's" are definitely not overrated.
    

    
    

There. Now, I think I should link this article to Erbe's facebook wall. That's the only way I can get that husband of mine to read my blog.

And oh, yeah, that reminds me – this one is for my husband

1. Read her blog. You'll never know what you may discover.
   

Meanwhile, I just saw a lizard swallow a huge moth. I'll be damned. It does happen. The moth probably did not see that coming. Of course, the several hundreds of ants I flushed down the toilet a while ago did not see me coming either. If ants can think, that one intelligent ant last thought was, "I never thought my life would end this way – being flushed down the toilet."

I cannot do Buddhism, I take too much pleasure in killing ants (specifically red ones) and mosquitoes. I refuse to believe they're reincarnations of poor human beings. It must suck to be reincaranated as a mosquito.

Read More

Favorite Pictures of the Week

I just like this. :) I was going to SM and was waiting for a trike to bring me there and I was standing in front of this monument, and so I took this picture. I just like it. I used to think that the swirling thing looked like a huge swirling "dump". :)


You can't see it, but it's there. It's this really small pubic-like strand of hair that bugged the hell out of me for hours! Erbe couldn't find it and he kept telling me I was imagining the strand of hair that I kept calling, "pubic hair". I kept saying, "It's there, damn it! I feel it. It's curly and it's irritating!" Until finally, I was able to pluck it off the top of my head. It was such a huge relief that I had to take a picture of it.


This picture bothers the hell out of me. Doesn't it bother you?


Tinapay, this is the picture I was telling you about. The leaf covers the hole that should be there. And look at her, she's grinning like "it" wasn't poking out when I took the picture. My mother is the queen of embarrassing stories. I don't know why she didn't notice that it was poking out. :)

Finally, the pic of the day -


I was on a trike with Tinay and the trike stopped in front of Jollibee. She got off the trike and I followed suit. I heard a RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPING sound. And I was like, "uh.oh." Tinay's reaction, "Saimo lang talaga nangyayari ang mga ini!"

Read More

Facebook Status Updates Irritate Me

I am addicted to Facebook. It's not just the games -- I also love reading people's updates or status. However, that's not always the case. Sometimes, some people's updates make me want to scream bloody murder. They irritate the hell out of me.

For instance, do not post status updates addressing someone who is in the same room with you! For god's sake! A post like "Hon, can we go to sleep now" is vastly irritating. Why don't you just fucking turn your head and ask him?! He's right there with you in the room! It's not cute, I swear!

And if you miss your boyfriend, why don't you just send him an email - or better yet, call him up! I don't think all of your 348 friends (by the way, how did you manage to get that many friends?) are eager to read about your deep longing for your effing boyfriend. Seriously! If I read another status update about your boyfriend, I'd freaking delete you from my list! Okay, I know, that's not really a scary threat, but it works to my advantage. So there.

Updates about what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner are not cute. We don't care about what you ate for breakfast. On second thought, perhaps, I should consider writing, "Tinggay Garchitorena ate tuyo, balaw, sugok and Lucky Me mami for breakfast" as well. I wonder how you'd feel every time you'd read my freaking food updates.

And for god's sakes! Don't chat about your love life for all your 276 friends to read! I don't really care if your boyfriend loves you more than you love him. This can be riveting if I don't find it weird!

These are just some of the things that irritate me about people's Facebook status. I have more, but I don't dare write them here, lest these friends find my blog and read my post. After all, I don't want to end up with only my sister, Paulo Coelho and Oprah as my friends. :)

Read More

Early Xmas Wish for Kris

Dear Lil' Sis,

This is what I want for Christmas.

Yeah, it's for kids, but I still want it!

Love,
Ate

Read More