Waiting is not easy.
It is a complete torture.
Like you're waiting for someone to give you your breath back.
Like waiting for the ax to fall -- this is how I feel right now.
Waiting for the inevitable.
Unfortunately, I feel like the inevitable would mean sour bitter taste in my mouth,
like ashes falling off from a dead dream.
I've been surfing around the net and have read few blogs about the bar exams. The authors have discussed their answers and they sound so freaking convincing that I feel like my answers were like series of babblings of a 4-year-old idiot.
They sound so convincing and I feel damned when their answers differ from mine.
Thoughts like, "Why the hell did I rush that Legal Ethics exam?"
or "Geeze! I gave the most stupid answers ever!"
Why the hell did I answer, "Yes, he showed improper conduct not befitting a lawyer/judge".
All I can remember is that I was having difficulty thinking of any legal basis for a negative answer, "No, his actions were not improper because -- well, it was his wife for pete's sakes!"
Sometimes, I get caught up with day-to-day activities and I sin. I curse at a driver. I speak a bad word. I miss a Sunday mass -- and I worry that I'd fail. I even had a bad dream where I couldn't find my name in the paper. That basically gave me an inkling about how devastated I'd be come April. Yes, I'm preparing myself for the bad news.
God! I hate waiting. It's pure torture. It's like someone has got a hard grip on my heart and wouldn't let go.
3 Gorgeous People Said --:
yeah, waiting is really a nightmare. I've read that some had bad dreams about the bar exams results which turn out to be the opposite in reality. I'd pray that it is also true for me since i also have nightmares about the bar. But i guess everyone who took the bar exams have the same bad dreams. It is also foolish to believe that dreams determine our fate.
Hey, thanks for the visit. i had another nightmare. this time, I was semi-conscious so I guess I was controlling the dream so I'd pass. :)
My friend had series of nightmares -- one where he failed and our other friend who did not even take the exam passed. :)
Another friend had a dream where he failed in one subject.
Do you have a blog that i can visit as well?
hi.
i hope letting you know that "you are not alone waiting in agony" can minimize the nightmares.
God bless us.
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