What Have I Been Up To? Let's See...Where Do I Start?

Mommy typically has problems with helpers. They just do not satisfy her. She'd initially be pleased with the efforts of a help, but fairly soon enough she'd find hundreds of reasons why she think she needs to let go of the help. To be truthful, sometimes, I think my mother needs a robot. So, sometimes, I worry about our present helper leaving us without notice.

Anyway, yesterday, our helper did not come to work. I was worried that she might be leaving us and I was wondering if she mentioned anything to Riley's yaya about her leaving.

So, I asked, "Beck, suya si Manay She ki Mommy?"


Beck, who did not understand my question, answered, "Iyo po."


I was taken aback. Oh, geeze, I thought. So, I continued, "Tano daa?"


Beck answered, "Dai daa po kaya nagtratrabaho."


Huh? That's weird, I thought. Does that mean she expects Mommy to work? So, I asked, "Anong dai nagtratrabaho?"


"Sige lang daa po kayang tukaw tukaw sa baba?" Beck answered quite matter-of-factly.


At this point, I was already irritated. How dare she, I thought. But driven by curiosity, I just had to ask, "nagtutukaw sa baba?"


"Iyo po daa, sige lang hugay."


Did I hear her right?


"Si Mama? Sigeng hugay?!?!"


Beck then looked at me, confused.


"Naghuhugay po si Mommy mo?"


"Sabi mo baga sigeng hugay si Mommy?"


"Ay dai man po baga? Si Manay Sheryl po baga naghuhugay ta makuto."


Okay, at this point, I was really, really confused.


"Bako po hinahapot mo sako kung anggot si Mommy mo ki Manay Sheryl?"


TOINKS!!!!


*sigh


Anyway, check this out -

This is the tree

that bore the fruit - 

that Erbe is munching on. :)

Nice, huh? |The children in our neighborhood though have started to "steal" the fruits, which pisses the hell out of Mommy.  You can hear her screaming at the top of her lungs in the morning for the past few weeks, "Hoy! Mga Lintek Kamo! Barababa kamo diyan! Paparaikit na naman nindo mga prutas ko, dai pa ngani ako kayan nakakakan!"  


Yep, she's Mrs. Fruit Scrooge. 


She reminds me of this old lady in Cabusao who used to run around with a bolo, threatening us when she sees us stealing fruits from her fruit trees - for the life of me, I don't know why her balimbing trees bore the sweetest, most delicious fruits in the whole barrio. 


Cha Doreng. 


May she rest in peace. 


What happened to her? Oh, she was murdered in her sleep.


Seriously! Murdered probably by one of those kids she deprived of those delicious fruits in her backyard. Kidding!  But she was really murdered. Someone broke into her house and stole all her money and stabbed her to death.  I was so freaking scared when I learned about it. 


I used to dream of her screaming at me for stealing indian mango from her fruit trees. The dreams stopped when I started praying for her soul and asking for her forgiveness for the fruits I stole. Seriously, I'm that weird.


Anyway, I told Mommy she reminds me of Cha Doreng every time she'd scream at the kids.  She also screams at people who would steal the fruits of her banana trees.  It's another matter, altogether though when she's dealing with adults. Mommy generally lose her balls.


Mommy has kang kong planted in front of our house.  Every week, she'd see this old lady, harvesting her kang kong.  She tried to ignore it until she couldn't take it anymore and she approached the old lady who was busily harvesting the plants.


She informed the woman, "sako baga yan." (Please take note this is a senior citizen addressing another senior citizen.)

The old lady frowned at her and asked, "Sigurado ka?"


Mommy answered, "iyo, ako daw kayan nagtanum? Tano mo tigkukurua?"


She was taken aback and left speechless when the old lady answered, "Ibebenta ko. Maimuton ka man. Idadagdag ko lang man sa pambakal ming bagas. Para lang kayan, maisipun ka!"


I was laughing my ass off at the old lady's sheer audacity when Mommy told me what happened.  She really didn't know what to say after the woman accused her of being selfish. She kept asking me what she should have said.


Paige though guards Mommy's plants like their the jewels of the Crown of England.  Speaking of Paige, it's very fortunate that she has had her MMR shots; othewise, she could have ended up with German Measles like her sister - :(

Dr. Setay said that Riley has German Measles, which aside from her medical opinion, just makes sense because Mommy's chicken boys had German Measles too several weeks ago.

Getting free consult from Dr. Settie

She's feeling a whole lot better though - the rashes have cleared but there are dark marks on her skin. :(

This is a quite long post. I think I should just end this now and eat my lunch - Erbe's Chao Fan (yep, he cooked it). :)