The Things I Learned from Being a Mom

I am not your typical mom.  In fact, I am so atypical that I envy the normal ones, you know regular mothers.  I have my own way of doing things.  I think I frustrate Erbe who is so traditional in his views that he probably regrets marrying me.  I think he starts his prayers with, "Dear God, please help me reform my wife."


If you were married to me and you are quite traditional, you will regret it.  You see, I believe not all women are born with this overwhelming desire to clean the house, chop onions and grate cheese.

Okay, I know there are great pleasures they said you'd derive from "serving" your husband or your children.  One word comes to mind though every time I hear this chauvinistic statement - ARCHAIC.  Seriously?!  I'd probably do these things because I see them as:

1. Things I have to do because nobody else will do them

2. Things I want to do because it'll please my husband

However, #2 is negotiable.  It depends on how pleased I am with the husband as well.  If he's being an ass, should I still try to please His Majesty?

Anyway, I digress.  This post is supposedly about The Things I Learned from Being a Mom. Yes, I've learned things.  I am not an idiot; although I know I am not a contender for Mother of the Year award.  In fact, I'd probably lose if I'm in a contest.  Not only will I lose, I'd probably rank last.  You see, I am a screamer.  I scream when I get frustrated.  These are not squeaks.  These are blood-curling "I'm-murdering-someone-right-now" kind of scream.  I have awful temper.  My sister thinks (and I agree) that it's probably because I have depleted estrogen supply. Yes, I'm squeezing in my own lame excuse.

Still, despite my lack of motherly values, I am learning some things from being a mother:

(Let's pause for a while here.  Okay, get your serious groove on...)

So, here it goes:

1. I've learned that children have to be respected too.   Seriously, that's probably the most valuable thing I've learned. Some parents lord over their children just because they know they can.  I hate that.

2. I've learned how to gauge temperatures without even using a thermometer.  It's an amazing talent that I have recently acquired.  I actually insert my fingers in the armpit and then I'd give my reading. I test my results by using a thermometer and I'm often right!  Yes, you're probably wondering right now why I did not just use the thermometer in the first place...riiiiiight.  You see, I'm weird like that. I do because I can.  I hate waiting for the reading.  I'll let you in a well-known secret - I'm highly impatient.  I hate waiting.  I do that as well because I enjoy messing with Erbe.  I'm his wife after all.  All in a day's work.  I thoroughly enjoyed Erbe's reaction the first time he saw me doing it.

3.  Children lie.  Yes, they do. They are honest most of the time, but they can lie. Little liars. They'd look you in the eyes and tell you, "You're not fat, Mama."  So, the next time a child tells you that she's telling you the truth.  Give her a dead stare and say, "The wolf is going to eat you, sweetheart and nobody's gonna help you if you keep lying." Well, that's what I say.  Again, I am not the best mother.

4. Children can change you.  Remember I said I'm a screamer?  I realized I don't need estrogen injections to cure me of this temper.  Recently, I have noticed Paige covering her ears once my voice starts to rise.  It was like a bucket full of water was poured over my head the first time I saw her do it.  No..actually, it was like finding myself buried in a glacier with my head poking out and with a hungry penguin pecking at my face. (Do penguins peck by the way, or do they bite?) Still, it left me ashamed of myself.

5. Your children come first but you need to be selfish sometimes.  See?  I doubt it if other mothers think the same way.  I know that my children's needs come ahead of mine.  For instance, I'd go to the mall and I'd come out with purchases.  98% of these things are for them.  1% is for Erbe - and often that's just lungan (because he loves it) and the other 1% is  for me and often it's a loaf of bread, slice bread in particular. Yes, that's all I get.  But then, what I've come to realize is that for me to ensure my sanity and to keep my temper in check, I need my selfish moments.  I need to set boundaries. I need my children including my husband to respect those boundaries.

Well, anyway, I'm still learning. I think I'll probably cover all the basics once Paige turns 45. But then again, I'd be learning how to deal with a 45-year-old daughter. So.