Because It Only Happens to Me

I know these things happen to me, so I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, I am cursed.

I fall down stairs with half of the University's student body watching me roll - literally roll from the second floor to the ground floor. I am that girl who walks around with her ass hanging out for all the world to see - and yes, again, I mean that literally. So, when something embarrassing happens to me, I shouldn't be surprised, right? No. For the life of me, I am always caught unprepared.

Earlier this afternoon, I decided to look for something to give Paige on her birthday. I thought of buying her a Leapfrog "pseudo" tablet for kids. But you know how those things are and Paige plays Sims on my computer. She manipulates Mommy's Samsung phone quite well. God, she has figured out that Eula Valdez is Rita Avila in Walang Hanggan even before I even had a clue.  (She was watching Eula Valdez stared at Rita Avila's wedding picture and she was like, "Ay mama! Si mama sia ni nathan!") But I digress. Point is - this will bore her out of her wits! 

It would have been different if we got her this -

But this is a bit expensive and her father wouldn't go for it.  He is about "practicality" which is okay, considering how flighty I tend to be.  Anyway, I thought I'd check out video consoles in this store.

When I entered the store, I noticed that everyone was looking at this guy standing outside the store - across the store actually.  Anyway, I barely gave him notice and I started checking out game consoles.  But their conversations caught my attention.

"Hilinga na baya ta naghuba na diyan."

HUH?!  And indeed, this guy had his pants down.  He was wearing shorts underneath and he was wearing this black sando shirt.  But still, he had his pants down.  He had his back turned.  He was facing the wall, looking at his crotch and he was like adjusting something.

"Kasubago pa baga yan dian", they said.

"Binendahan kamot nia ta sige baga yan suntok dian kasubago."

And so I offered an opinion, "Siguro po may hilang sa payo."

"Iyo, nauranan garo yan", one saleslady said.

And they all laughed. And they kept watching him and laughing.  It took him about 5 minutes to finish whatever it was that was keeping him busy down his pants.  It was weird because there was no security officer around.  Anyway, he finally finished and slowly turned. And then he stood with his arms crossed like as if he wasn't fiddling with his thing a minute before.

"Hmm. Garo bistado ko. Shit! Garo iyo."

I peered at him again and then it hit me, "Bulay, taga-Mabolo. Bistado ko pa. Shit! Baka mabistado ako."

"God, sana po dai ako nabisto."

I turned around and pretended I didn't see him.

And then fate bit my ass and started laughing. 

He must have seen me  because, I heard someone shout, "Tere!"

I felt my heart dropped to the floor.

Should I turn around and wave?

Should I pretend not to hear him - but oh, God, that's an awful thing to do.

Should I skedaddle and leave the store. Yes, that's what I should do. NOW!  

I slowly turned and I slithered my way slowly to the side door like the awful Christian that I am.

"O, garo may bistado digdi", somebody said.

 

"Tere! Tere!"

Bulay, I thought.

"Ay, si ma'am palan bistado," I heard someone said as I walked outside the door.

Pakshet.