Evil Resided in My House

You can never really be too careful when it comes to your kids.
Horrible things could happen to them right under your nose.

I feel so bad right now. I feel so guilty. I have a bad case of migraine. I just feel like the most horrible mother for trusting Paige to that insipid, stupid, cruel, cruel person.

Yesterday evening, Erbe and my mother commented that Annie, Paige's yaya, was really harsh. They told me that they often hear her shouting at Paige. Now, this person is a manipulative bitch. Whenever I'm around, she's all sweetness to my daughter -- always extra careful that she does not do anything or say anything that I would find objectionable.

Now, although she's pretty stupid (and I mean really, really stupid), I told her never to hurt Paige in anyway and I'd forgive her for her countless acts of stupidity. I asked her to tell me or Erbe if Paige does anything wrong, so we'd discipline her. All she was allowed to do was to put Paige in time-outs if she's being bad. Now, that was clear.

I should have known something was up. Paige didn't like her and was absolutely terrified of her. We often wondered why Paige often exhibited fear or aversion towards her. Every time I would ask her if she's doing anything to Paige, she'd be like really adamant that she couldn't possibly hurt my daughter. That lying two-faced bitch.

Earlier this morning-- very early like 6 a.m. -- I happened to mention to her what Erbe and Mama said about her. She was offended. She was so offended that you would think she wasn't doing anything wrong and that just implying that she could do anything wrong was beyond comprehension. In fact, I felt bad like I was hurting her.

Then it happened. While Annie was inside doing some moping, my Nana Violy told me that she saw Annie slapping Paige yesterday night. I was stunned and promptly but calmly called her. Now, if you know me, being calm is beyond my meager capabilities. I'm a "freak-out" expert. But I managed to calmly call her and then I asked her if there was any truth to what Nana Violy was telling me.

She did not say anything.
She was just standing there, looking trapped, staring at me.
And then she said, "Dai ko na po gigibuhon ulit" (I will not do it again)
Did I slap her right there and then? No. Erbe said that's what I should have done but I didn't. I restrained myself and calmly asked her to pack her bags and leave. Nana Violy asked me to give her another chance.
Chance? To what? For her to hit my daughter again?
Apparently, Paige was being bad and was hitting her face, which if you know any toddler, you'd know that this is a phase they go through. You have to discipline them right and smacking my daughter right back is not the right thing to do.
Annie hit her back so hard that Nana Violy saw Paige's head thrown back. Yes, thrown back! it was that hard! Paige was crying. This bitch was so spiteful that she even told my daughter that Paige deserved it.

I was so livid with anger.
It's been hours but I'm still shaking with anger.

She wasn't even remorseful. When I said that I won't give her another chance, she turned her back on me and her face scrounged up -- angry. And she took her pretty time packing her bags. She had two little -- and I mean little -- bags and it took her almost an hour to pack.

At one point, she approached me, and I told her not to come near me because I wanted to hurt her so bad I was practically itching. To avoid hurting her, I pushed her away. She fell on her big derrière but she was fine -- or so I thought until she came back with her mother and aunt a few hours later.

The lying two-faced nasty worm actually had the gall to lie to her mother in front of us. She outrightly denied that she hit Paige and she implied that I hurt her. I could have strangled her right there and then. Her mother had the nerve to be angry and she couldn't comprehend why I was so livid with anger. Fortunately, the aunt was sane. She signaled that Annie has her screws loose. She was apologetic.

Anyway, I was so angry with Nana Violy as well. Apparently, the slapping was not an isolated incident. It happened before but she only warned Annie that she'd tell me but she did not tell me that it happened. The others came out with their own witnessed stories as well. You can just imagine how furious I was -- still am. They all saw how she was treating my daughter but nobody told me.

I am so angry with myself. I felt like I betrayed my daughter for exposing her to that vile person.
I feel so guilty for leaving my daughter to her. Every time I'd give Paige to her, I gave her the opportunity to hurt my daughter. Do you know how it feels? You don't even want mosquitoes to bite your daughter and you actually paid someone to slap her? I was paying this person to take care of my daughter and she was hurting her! Not just hurting her -- she was practically abusing her!

I've learned my lesson well. Never again will I let this happen. Never.