I am not doing well. Holding on though. After all, nothing lasts forever. This, too, shall pass. It's not life or death, so yeah, I'll be okay. The fuck up thing about this is that it's my fault.
I could have finished the book a month ago!
I could have just shut up and avoid the argument.
I could have done these things and I would not have been in this predicament. See? It's my fault. That's what sucks big time!
Enough of my pity-party. I need a pick me up and a slap in the head - a reminder of the things that I have. Okay, here goes. 10 Things That Made Me Smile or Happy:
1. Paige's impromptu kisses, hugs, "i love you's" and "mama ko's"
Now that takes the top of the list. In Paige's little world, I take the top spot. I am her superman. I can kill monsters by just staring at them. It's a big responsibility and it's scary, but at the same time, it's liberating - because it allows me to be more than what I thought i can be. After all, here's this little person depending on me. It's the thing that pushes me to never give up.
Now, what's next? Geeze.
2. Oh, yes, a new digital camera from my sister.
Oh, well, what can I say, she loves me to bits. In truth, it's during these times that I miss her badly. Her fights were mine and mine was hers - and now, I have to go through things alone. Okay, I'll 'fess up, I'm in a fight with Mamu. And Kris is the only one who understands how it is like. *sigh. This is supposed to be a happy list. I am depressing myself to a kill-me-now coma.
3. Erbe.
I'm thankful for him. If I can bottle up Erbe's love, patience and kindness, I'd be freaking rich. His stillness calms me. His kindness humbles me and his unconditional love comforts me.
4. Seeing old friends.
Although there is a lot of drama behind it, I am happy I saw Lala. It was fun reminiscing. She has changed. She's more sure of herself. She's not the Marla I used to know, but between laughters, I'd see a glimpse of the old Marla - and we'd be 15-year-old girls once again.
5. Ryan. He's not mad at me.
I'm glad about that. I can't risk losing anymore friends. I seem to have lost a few along the way. My fault, their fault - it doesn't matter.
Now, what else?
6. US Shows.
Finally, they're back! After waiting for several months, I can now enjoy the drama and witty repartee.
7. Sunrise.
Another day to correct mistakes and yes, apologize. I will have to apologize to Mamu. I am not at fault. She misunderstood and blew things out of proportion. In fact, I should be mad. However, things won't be resolved if I don't apologize. You see, for them, parents do not bend. It's the way things are. I like sunrises though and all the promises that come with them.
I am struggling. I wanted to write 10, but I can't think of anything else to be happy about.
*sigh.
I could have finished the book a month ago!
I could have just shut up and avoid the argument.
I could have done these things and I would not have been in this predicament. See? It's my fault. That's what sucks big time!
Enough of my pity-party. I need a pick me up and a slap in the head - a reminder of the things that I have. Okay, here goes. 10 Things That Made Me Smile or Happy:
1. Paige's impromptu kisses, hugs, "i love you's" and "mama ko's"
Now that takes the top of the list. In Paige's little world, I take the top spot. I am her superman. I can kill monsters by just staring at them. It's a big responsibility and it's scary, but at the same time, it's liberating - because it allows me to be more than what I thought i can be. After all, here's this little person depending on me. It's the thing that pushes me to never give up.
Now, what's next? Geeze.
2. Oh, yes, a new digital camera from my sister.
Oh, well, what can I say, she loves me to bits. In truth, it's during these times that I miss her badly. Her fights were mine and mine was hers - and now, I have to go through things alone. Okay, I'll 'fess up, I'm in a fight with Mamu. And Kris is the only one who understands how it is like. *sigh. This is supposed to be a happy list. I am depressing myself to a kill-me-now coma.
3. Erbe.
I'm thankful for him. If I can bottle up Erbe's love, patience and kindness, I'd be freaking rich. His stillness calms me. His kindness humbles me and his unconditional love comforts me.
4. Seeing old friends.
Although there is a lot of drama behind it, I am happy I saw Lala. It was fun reminiscing. She has changed. She's more sure of herself. She's not the Marla I used to know, but between laughters, I'd see a glimpse of the old Marla - and we'd be 15-year-old girls once again.
5. Ryan. He's not mad at me.
I'm glad about that. I can't risk losing anymore friends. I seem to have lost a few along the way. My fault, their fault - it doesn't matter.
Now, what else?
6. US Shows.
Finally, they're back! After waiting for several months, I can now enjoy the drama and witty repartee.
7. Sunrise.
Another day to correct mistakes and yes, apologize. I will have to apologize to Mamu. I am not at fault. She misunderstood and blew things out of proportion. In fact, I should be mad. However, things won't be resolved if I don't apologize. You see, for them, parents do not bend. It's the way things are. I like sunrises though and all the promises that come with them.
I am struggling. I wanted to write 10, but I can't think of anything else to be happy about.
*sigh.
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