Laura’s Big Mistake

It was time to pick up Paige from school.

Erbe was asleep and I had no choice but to ask Laura to pick up Paige. Don't ask me why I didn't want to do it myself – or why I choose not to. I blame everything on pregnancy. Yes, even before I was pregnant.

Anyway, I went downstairs and looked for her. Alma, Mommy's other eager help, was not around. She was busy visiting the quack doctor for her bleeding that just wouldn't stop. The theory is that the spirits are sucking the blood out from her vagina. Again, don't ask me why these bleeding spirits chose a really disgusting method of making Alma suffer for whatever imagined offense she may have committed against the spirit clan.

Anyway, Laura was busy marinating chickens. (Luna, that's the parents' business. They run a couple or so chicken grills located around the city – thus, the need for boys, girls and gays.)

Anyway, Laura, as I have mentioned before is about 80 – 90% deaf. However, I refuse to shout when talking to her. In my way of thinking, I am insulting her if I do so. I thought I'd be very insulted if I were in her position and I'd see people literally screaming at me when they talk - their veins outlined against their neck. I'd likely smack them. I imagined that she could very well understand me regardless of how I speak to her. Boy, was I wrong! So, there I was carefully instructing her to pick up Paige from school. She was nodding and blinking and nodding and blinking. She put down the chickens and readied herself.

"Okay," I thought, "she understood me. That's the way to do it. I didn't even have to shout." I was pleased with myself and my "talking" skills.

I followed her outside the house and watched her walk away – walk away towards the entirely wrong direction.

At first, I frowned and then when she continued to walk, I thought, "oh boy, oh boy! Where the hell is she going?" (Yes, I do tend to think in English. :))

Daddy's farmer, who was standing beside me on the porch, started talking. He irritates the hell out of me. He just wouldn't shut up and he can talk and talk and talk… He butts in on conversations and he dishes out advices like he's Owl of the Hundred Acre Woods.

I ignored him. I could hear him saying, "Bungog baga kaya yan ne. Garo baga may raot yan sa payo."

Fucking homophobic.

Anyway, I couldn't follow Laura outside the house, so I decided to just let go wherever she thinks she's supposed to go and I rushed upstairs to wake Erbe up.

While, I was trying to explain to Erbe that Laura was seemingly walking towards Gainza, she knocked.

As per habit, she doesn't wait for you to say anything, her head would just pop up and it did. She gingerly held up two eggs and asked, "Ano gibuhon to ta tugok?"

Erbe and I looked at each other and started laughing and laughing and laughing.

Anyway, to make the story short, Erbe ended up picking up his daughter from school. I've also learned to speak to Laura loudly – and I mean, LOUDLY. Lady, that I am though, I refused to shout. Don't argue with the lady part.