A Revelation

I have just been told that I am the worst thing that ever happened to someone - worse than the death of this person's parents.

OUCH. I still do not know what I did or why I am that infamous in this person's life. But I'd like to think of it this way - that I apparently mattered enough to wreck havoc in this person's life. I have never intentionally hurt anyone. Ironically, this person mattered to me a lot. I just didn't know I mattered just as much as well. If things were different. If life didn't happened the way it did, I'd probably be married to this person. Oh, well. C'est la vie. It's just probably sad that I missed out on something great because I was too busy looking at something that was worth shit. I wasted years on people who couldn't even give half of what I was being readily given.

So, to you, I am so sorry. I just didn't know.

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For Your Information

I love my husband with every fiber of my being. I have not loved anyone as much as I love him. I love him and ONLY him. 


Oh, I am silly sometimes, I do things and say things that will likely lead you to think otherwise, but if you know our story, you will not blink an eye when I tell you that our story is probably the stuff of Hollywood films. I will gladly walk all the way to hell and back for him - and I have. He knows that - and that is the reason why he allows me certain proclivities that typically husbands do not allow their wives.


My husband knows that when push comes to shove, he can trust me to ultimately do the right thing when it comes to us and our marriage. How do I know this? He just told me right now.


Anyway, I just have to put it out there. Just so, no one will think otherwise.

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The Things a 4-Year-Old Should Know

Admit it, if you’re a mom – or a dad – you’ve probably compared your kid to somebody else’s kid. I should know, I’ve done the same thing hundreds of times! I, however, am not guilty of openly insulting or comparing my children with other people’s children. Since becoming a parent, I’ve noticed two things:
1. That parents want to believe that their children are little prodigies.
2. That parents often wonder what their child should know or should be able to do at certain ages.

I’m guilty of both.

I’ve realized, however, that there are really certain things that children, particularly preschoolers, should know. So, here is my list of things that a 4-year-old should know (my Paige is, after all, 4 years old):

First of all – and this is probably the most important thing in this list – your child should know that she is loved. Completely and unconditionally. No buts or what-ifs. No exceptions.

I've recently learned how important this is to my child.  Paige knows how happy I am every time she comes home with a star. I’ve learned, however, that a star didn’t matter much in comparison to my child’s happiness.

One afternoon, she came home, hiding her hand behind her.  She approached me with a sad look in her face. After I prompted her to tell me what’s wrong, she told me that she prayed dearly to Jesus, asking him to make her teacher stamped a star on her hand. And then she hesitantly showed me her hand and said sadly, “No star, mama.” I felt my heart breaking into tiny little pieces. I gave her a hug and told her that she’s a really smart and wonderful kid and that I love her no matter what.

It was an eye opener for me. I had a good talk with my husband after that because I was wondering where I draw the line. How do you encourage your child without causing her sorrow? And Erbe gave me a good answer, but then that’s another story.

Anyway, I continue with my list.

The second thing your child should know is this - how to keep herself safe. It is your duty to keep her safe, but there are basic rules that you need to teach your child. Never go with strangers anywhere. Never leave your side in public. Safety is a huge consideration especially when you have a little girl. Predators are everywhere! Boys are no longer safe as well.

She should know two important values: Respect and Honesty. Oh, children slip every now and then. Sometimes, your child would throw a tantrum. Sometimes, she’d lie – or god forbid if this happens to you – steal small potatoes from the supermarket (this happened to me - last week!), but as long as she’s going in the right direction, she’s going to be okay.

Your child should know that it’s okay to be silly. She should know that it’s okay to laugh and to use her imagination. Trees do not always need to have green leaves. Faces can be orange and violet. A bicycle can carry seven people. Let her have fun with her imagination. Her interests should be encouraged. She’ll soon learn the alphabet and numbers, but let her pretend to be a mermaid or a fairy for now. Let your child draw rocket ships, cars and airplanes if that’s what she wants.  
Finally, she should know that the world is wonderful and that it is magical. She should know that she is a very important piece of that magic. She should know that she’s so important that you would be willing to spend hours just playing with her or that she can come to you with her latest drawing of you (with an orange face, of course) and you'd be willing to give her a minute of your time.
Now, those things, my friends, are the things that a 4-year-old should know.

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My Latest Embarrassing Story

Just before going home yesterday afternoon, I decided to drop by Jollibee to get something for Paige and the Husband.  After giving my order, I began planning Paige's birthday plans in my head.  I was waiting for my order.  It was so weird. I just went blank and I just stood there.  I saw the cashier preparing my order.  I saw her talking to me.  I saw her mouth was moving, but her words weren't registering at all. I was busy budgeting in my head.

Once again, I saw her gesturing at my order placed in front of me, but I just glanced at the food and I continued thinking. I didn't realize everybody was waiting for me and looking at me strangely.  I stood there for what felt like a whole minute.


Finally, I snapped back to reality and I realized what I was doing - and this was only after the customer behind me finally gathered the guts to brave the crazy woman stupidly standing in front of the cashier staring at the menu, not saying anything. Oh, in my head, I was wondering where I can possibly find helium so I can blow up balloons the night before Paige's birthday so she'd wake up with balloons in the ceiling.

Anyway, I finally looked at the cashier - really looked at her - and then I asked, "Is this my order?" She nodded with a strange look on her face. I was so embarrassed. Red-faced, I scurried outside. Talk about embarrassing. Why do I do these things? Geeze.

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Dear Lord

Please don't let me be this person. I don't want to be like this person... This is just so sad. I had to live with a ghost for a decade. I can't do two or more! That's just sad. Really sad...

(image from Postsecret.com)

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The Train

A, 

I hear the train. 

As usual, I am reminded of you - and I smile.

Me

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