Bullshit and Blessings

Nice title, huh? I am having a good morning as opposed to the kind of morning I had yesterday. Yesterday was crappy.  I guess my good morning is partly because of the rain. I love the rain and I think I have blogged about how much I love the rain that I should just create a category for it or change my blog title to "Have I Told You How Much I Love the Rain Because I Love the Rain. Oh Yes, I Do! Yes, I Do! So, Have I Told You How Much I Love...

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Hey.

I LOVE YOU....

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Disoriented

I slept at 9 in the morning, this morning and I'm awake now. It's 1 in the afternoon. It's my husband's fault.  He opens the door, closes the door, opens the light, closes the light and talks to me even though he knows I'm asleep.  Needless to say, I finally woke up, scream bloody murder and now I can't sleep. My head is pounding. Early this morning, I saw a pencil and I started sketching, It has been a while since I drew anything and...

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For the One Who Got Away :)

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Anxiety Attack

I knew it would come to this. I thought I was prepared for it, but it seems like I am not. I should be, but I am panicking. I feel like I can't breathe. God damn it. Crossroads. I've reached my crossroads and if things go as planned, I will be jumping into the fires of hell again. I wish I didn't see it like that, but I do. I have six months to change my perception and hopefully, a positive change will yield positive outcome. I am covering all the bases. uh.huh. I am making sure that I have all the bases covered this time and I have Plan A and...

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Damn It.

I had that dream again where I wake up with a gnawing emptiness in my stomach. Damn it. I prefer to lie to myself. I prefer to believe in this little truths/lies that I tell myself. I don't understand it really. I don't understand how something or someone can have that much hold. It's weird. It doesn't make sense at all.  It defies the rational, the reasonable. So, I tell myself that little lie and convince myself it's true. But then, I'd sleep and the truth will rear its head. Damn it. Just.Get.Out.Of.My.Head will you? Go away!...

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Three Two

The first time I took notice of her, I was sitting behind her in class.  She was #1 in class - and sometimes #2.  I was often #3 in class, next to her and Lala.  She's a scary loser though.  Well, she used to be.  One time, she ranked 2nd next to Marla, she got mad and she broke Lala's pencil in half.  We were in first grade. My next memory of her was in 2nd grade.  It was recess and we were playing Chinese...

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