Tom Cruise as Amy Winehouse

This made my day. Click!

Hilarious!

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Diagnosis: The Dwarves Envied My Daughter

A phone conversation between myself and my friend, Cheryl.

Me: Che, Paige was sick.. blah.blah.blah. So we went to the doctor and brought her to the hospital and they couldn't find anything wrong with her. blah.blah.blah. We brought her to the quack. Amazingly, her diarrhea and vomiting stopped altogether. blah.blah.blah.

Che: That's what I learned to. Now, before I bring Jade to the doctor, I make sure that I go to the quack first.

This conversation really happened. And yes, she really did say that.



Being mothers living in a country where there are beliefs like a child can get sick when a dwarf envies her or likes her, you learn to bring your child to a quack doctor before bringing her to a real MD.

I learned this after Paige got sick and we had to bring her to the hospital where she stayed for a week. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with my daughter, so we were forced to bring her out. She was still so sick. We decided to bring her to a local quack and after a 15-minute healing session, Paige slept. When she woke up, she was feeling so much better.

This taught me to bring her to the quack to avoid unnecessary medical expenses. Unbelievable, but true. true. true.

Today, Paige was vomiting all over the place. We then brought her to the quack again because we thought that she might be suffering from "sibang".

In our place, there is a belief that if someone is really really hungry and you came across that person, he or she can caused you to be really sick. There is a belief that only when that person puts his saliva on your stomach that you'd get better. The condition is called Sibang.

The session with the quack was pretty weird. First, she diagnosed Paige with Sibang, Lapo, and Suba.

*Sibang -- someone who's really hungry caused her to become ill.
*Lapo -- It's like a broken bone or a strained ligament. I do not really know how to define it but the idea is the same.
*Suba -- dwarves envied her so they made her sick.

She then rubbed a lot of leaves on her. What amazes me is that the healing process seems to change with every visit. One time she rubbed a lot of paper on Paige. Now, its leaves! leaves! leaves!
The whole thing lasted about 30 minutes.
When we came home, Paige slept.
She woke up half an hour later
And amazingly... she was whole lot better.

My friend, Sussette, a doctor came over and I insisted that the quack cured Paige.
She answered dismissively, "ah...huh."

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Benazir Bhutto and Buto

Back in High School, I had to know by heart the history of Pakistan. I was then 14-years-old, but I knew who Benazir Bhutto was.
We always had a difficult time saying the word, "Bhutto" because in our local dialect there is the word, "Buto" which if you must know means, "Testicles".
So, whenever we had to pronounce the word, "Bhutto", you could probably imagine the giggling behind your back.
It was really difficult to say the word then. So, I never forgot Benazir Bhutto.

Anyway, knowing their story, I was saddened by the news of her being assassinated.
I was saddened by the truth that sometimes somebody has to be assassinated before people would act against the atrocities of the government.


But you know what? I think this country (Philippines) needs someone to be assassinated. This country is begging for someone to be a hero -- to sacrifice his or her life -- before people would wake up from their stupor and do something about our hateful president.

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Enjoying Blaugh

I went blog hopping as usual. That's what I do between articles I'm writing. Anyways, I came across Blaugh :). I had a blast with the cartoons. So, I decided to post his best ones here --

Enjoy!























I LOVE this one.

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Enjoying Archie Comics Online

Did you ever curl up on your bed or the couch while reading stacks of Archie Comics?
God! I loved those days. I would borrow Archie comics from my classmates who had the money to buy those freakingly expensive (for me at that time they were) comics and I would spend hours just giggling over Jughead's antics.

I loved Jughead. I think everyone does. He's lazy and he's a glutton. But have you wondered why he was your favorite?

And of course, who would not love Betty? The poor girl. Always playing second fiddle to the gorgeous and rich Veronica. It's not surprising why I like her. I've always rooted for the underdog.

I came across Just Read It's blog and I came across her article on Archie Comics Online.

Apparently, Archie and the rest of the gang have their own blogs now!
I was not interested in their blogs, but I had fun reading the free comics
they had online.

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My Unfortunate Christmas Dinner

It's ironic how things turn out. I budgeted our money so that I'd be able to keep my promise to my mother that she would not have to worry about Christmas dinner because we'd take care of it. So, on top of every thing we have to buy -- diapers, milk, medicines, etc -- I made sure that we'd have one hell of a Christmas dinner.

But while I was worrying about the freakin' dinner, my parents were worried about their chickens. I've even teased my mother about how she sees Christmas as an opportunity to sell more blasted roasted chickens. They were worrying about how many chickens they'd be able to store, marinate and sell.

They were able to basically store hundreds of chickens. Hundreds and hundreds of blasted chickens. And for the last couple of days, they were busy buying and marinating chickens.

So while I was busy slaving away cooking our Christmas dinner, some I cooked in advanced, some I cooked on the 24th, my parents were pretty busy with their chickens. Erbe even jumped right into the chicken obsession and helped out. So, I was left alone with the stove.

I cooked one heck of a Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, they were all so tired that they ate their dinner one by one and went to bed. Nobody got up for Christmas Eve.

You could say that the chickens stole my Christmas Dinner from me.

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glitter-graphics.com

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Charice Pempengo guesting in Ellen Degeneres Show

I was wondering how Charice Pempengco did on her Ellen Degeneres Show guesting.
So I looked for it and I have three thoughts about it:

a. I've seen her do the microphone throwing thing three times already -- in three different shows.

b. I was a little bit skeptic about her being "that" good -- if you know what I mean. I mean, you'd probably see a lot of 15-year-old singers here who are as good as her or even better.

c. But hell damn! She made it to the Degeneres Show! That makes me SO proud of her. She made it there! Hell! If you'd think about it, no one here can say they've been anywhere near Hollywood in the same way. Ask Regine Velasquez and she can only tell you about her one-time stint as a backup to Mandy Moore which in my opinion is an insult to her because she's way, way better than Moore.

Charice though -- well, she's exceptionally good. She got standing ovations for both of her performances.

Here's Charice first video singing well, the same song she sang everywhere --



I bet you would feel awfully proud of her like her good 'ol mama. She's got one amazing talent, huh?

Watch the crowd. They're just amazed.

Here's her second video -- singing another song I've seen her sang before. Again.



Take note of one of the women in the audience saying, "She's amazing."

Hell, yeah! She is.

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Cartoonize Me

I came across this cartoonize picture of a blogger and I look for websites that would cartoonize my pictures. I ended up with Befunky

Here are some of the pics I was able to "successfully" turned into cartoons.
*Yeah sure. Snort.









My niece Cori. She's half Australian-half Filipino.












Erbe. Sleeping while on the bus.
I like how it's cartoonized.












My sister Kris and her daughter Cori in Edinburgh, England.













With my soul's own twin -- Settie.

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Answering eWriteLife Blog's Challenge

I came across this challenge at eWriteLife Blog and I decided to take up the challenge.

1. The Best writing on love - Living, Loving and Learning by Leo Buscaglia. Settie gave me this book. Simply incredible. Buscaglia speaks of love in the most basic level with honesty so raw that you'd get suck in.

2. 5 Things that I love: books, movies, writing, drawing, poetry
5 People that I love: Paige, Mommy, Erbe, Kris, Daddy -- can I include? Cori.

3. My first love was unrequited. The center of that idealistic whirlwind of emotions was not Prince Charming. Nope. He was not handsome at all. He had a crooked nose, ugly teeth, bushy eyebrows, curly hair and he had no eyelids. But he was really kind. A gentleman through and through. I got over my feelings and he became my bestfriend.

4. Love is your commitment to continue loving someone even after the Home Run and the fireworks end. It's holding on when you feel like giving up. It's being completely naked in front of a person and the whole world.

5. Love brings Peace, faith and contentment.

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Not Really About Charice Pempengco

I was surfing through blogs and I JUST found out that Charice Pempengco is going to the Ellen Degeneres Show. Amazing!

Well, my sister loved her and was betting that she'd win that Little Big Superstar contest but alas Sam Conception, with his little voice won. Charice was not really that pretty to begin with and so if you're not really a fan of Little Big Superstar, you wouldn't really notice her.

After I learned about the Degeneres Show, I searched through YouTube's videos for her.
And damn!

After this video --



that voice, the attitude, the stage presence --- A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

Anyways, I continued to look for her videos and ended up with this one --



And now I am officially a fan of Kyu-Hyeon.
His voice is just so amazing! I mean, it's not spectacular like Josh Groban or anything but it's what you'd think all Disney's princes' voices should be like, don't you think?
I mean, it's far cry from Christian Bautista's voice. I don't get the fascination Indonesians have over him. His voice is weird. Ugh.

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I was Named WHAT?!

I have had different names for the last 27 years of my life.

When I was a snotty, flat-nosed kid, my relatives used to call me Tinggay or Terenggay. I hated it. When my childhood bestfriend dared to call me Terenggay, I didn't speak to her for two whole months which made me miserable, but it was the principle of the thing I was fighting for. She didn't get it though. So, I thought what the heck and we got back to making dog's shit traps for the neighbor.

We also called each other Chipi One and Chipi Two and got in an argument over the "billing". You see, I was Chipi Two.

Eventually, people started calling me Tere, a nickname which stuck until today.

When I was in 6th Grade, my friends and I decided to change our names and I was Tim, which is better than Buffy -- another friend's adopted name inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

In high school, I got two nicknames which I hated: Tita Tere and Kantutay. See, who would love the nickname Kantutay?!

The Tita Tere -- I don't really understand where it originated.
But the Kantutay -- my friend dubbed me Kantutay after she tried calling me and I wouldn't respond. Unfortunately, she shouted "Kantutay!" And that was when I turned.
With her warped sense of humor, she even shortened it to "Kantuts!" WTF?!

Now, that was when my bestfriend, Tin started calling me Tetet.
And the rest of my college friends, as well as High School friends followed suit.

Now, my daughter calls me Mama Mey, Papa and Baba.
And when she wants me to pick her up, she'd call me "Hu-hu".

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Perez Vajayjay is Showing

Okay. I like reading Perez' blog
but hello?!

Really!

I wonder how he could diss all those celebs out there when he could spend some major time dissing himself first.

He is not some anonymous little gay blogger anymore. He is a celeb on his own right. How could he diss Rumer Willis calling her fugly when he needs major help on this pic.

What about some pants? Please. You're thingy is showing. Eww. Take some pants off that bag and put it on please.

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Weird and Pantyless Nana Delia

In our little barrio, we call our aunts, "Nana"
And even if we don't really know how we are related, we are compelled to call them, "Nana"; otherwise, we'd incur the wrath of the parents.
And we have a particular Nana we call, "Nana Delia".

Nana Delia is a peculiar character.
If you've seen movies with weird old ladies in them or read books with an equally cuckoo old lady in them -- well, that's Nana Delia in my life.
She pops up whenever she wants.
She leaves her house and her husband without telling him where she's going; and off she'll go to the city and visit every person she knows, transferring from one house to another.
And sometimes, she stays in the city for months that her husband has gotten used to it.
She doesn't stay in a particular house for too long lest she becomes a nuisance though.

Now, she goes around the city dressed in this pathetic old clothes - scruffy blouses that she probably wore when she was 16 and scruffy old skirts that was her grandmother's probably.
And mind you, she goes around ala Britney Spears -- yup. No panties.
And she carries these plastic grocery bags where she puts her clothes and stuff. This drives my mother crazy. I think she gets kicks out of getting bags for her clothes wherever she goes. My mom has probably given her three bags but she always comes back carrying plastic bags.
And she has this rolled long cloth wrap around her waists where she puts thousands and thousands of money.

She used to go to this free massage establishment several times a week until she abruptly stopped.
Why?
The management asked her to take a bath because the other customers were complaining of the horrible stench.
Yes, she doesn't take a bath. Or at least, she takes a bath once a week.
Tonight, she dropped by at 10 o'clock in the evening. Like, it's the usual visiting hours. Mind you. And yeah, we didn't have to worry about feeding her she brought her own food because she doesn't like the fats were stuffing our faces with.
Later, I heard her knocking on our bedroom door.
She was standing there clutching her plastic bags calmly telling me to close the door after her because she was leaving.
I stared at her.
Huh?
It was two o'clock in the morning.
All I could say was, "Uh? Nana, masain po kamo?"*

*where are you going?

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Revealing Secrets about Yourself

I came across this blog Beaman
and he had an entry where he revealed 7 Things About Himself


And finding this interesting I want to follow suit and if you read this perhaps you can send me a comment where you'd tell me at least three things people do not know about you.

So, here goes.

1. If we are not really close, you wouldn't know that I wrap my feet with mosquito net when I go to sleep. Now, you'd probably think that's weird but I'll have you know that 2 out of 10 people in this freaking country have the same affliction.

2. I love cartoons. I don't think I'll ever grow out of loving it. I seem to love Jimmy Neutron these days. Weird.

3. I love country music -- American country music, that is. The sappier, the better.

4. I am a Catholic but I question the doctrines. But I will not ever change my religion.

5. I believe I have failed the Bar Exams and I am just waiting for the results to confirm that, but I worry that I probably jinxed it by believing that I failed.

6. I don't want to regret my life. Period. So, I leave no room for thinking, "Do I regret my life?"

7. I am afraid to die but sometimes I think I'll die ahead of people I really love. Morbid thoughts.

Now, your turn.

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Why Tom Cruise is a Kook

I was curious about Scientology. I've always shrugged it off every time I'd read things about it. So, I finally decided to read where all those Alien Jokes were coming from.

And what I discovered?
Yeah, Tom Cruise deserves those alien cracks about him.

So, here are some of the beliefs I find really weird.
They believe that psychiatry and psychology are destructive. In fact, they blame almost all the wars in the world to psychiatry.

They believe that Xenu, the alien ruler of the Galactic Confederacy, dumped billions of people in volcanoes and blew them up. We have those people living inside us now. We have to remove them and spend $360,000 while doing so.

Delivery rooms should be as silent as possible. Easy for Hubbard to say. Nothing is as painful as labor. I wonder how Katie Holmes kept her trap shut?

Their disconnection policy in which members are encouraged to cut off ties from people who are antagonistic even with their families.

The Anderson Report which revealed that the auditing process (one-on-one communication with a Scientology counselor) involves hypnotizing the patient.

The Operation Snow White and equally frightening and weird Operation Freak Out

Heck. Almost all religions have their own kookiness and quirks. Catholics are being lambasted for their statues and all. In fact, if there are no historical basis for Jesus Christ, the whole idea would be probably weird.

But what gets to me is Xenu. WTF?! How the hell did Hubbard come up with that?! That's a pretty good theory though if you consider that theory that we came from Mars and all.

I wonder where the Dinosaurs came in and where were Adam and Eve when the blowing up of people happened?!

No wonder they think Tom Cruise is a kook. Poor Katie Holmes. Well, she's got millions of dollars to console herself being Mrs. Cruise. Poor Suri. She'll grow up to be Xenu believer.

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Waiting for the Bar Exams Results

Waiting is not easy.
It is a complete torture.
Like you're waiting for someone to give you your breath back.
Like waiting for the ax to fall -- this is how I feel right now.
Waiting for the inevitable.
Unfortunately, I feel like the inevitable would mean sour bitter taste in my mouth,
like ashes falling off from a dead dream.

I've been surfing around the net and have read few blogs about the bar exams. The authors have discussed their answers and they sound so freaking convincing that I feel like my answers were like series of babblings of a 4-year-old idiot.

They sound so convincing and I feel damned when their answers differ from mine.
Thoughts like, "Why the hell did I rush that Legal Ethics exam?"
or "Geeze! I gave the most stupid answers ever!"

Why the hell did I answer, "Yes, he showed improper conduct not befitting a lawyer/judge".
All I can remember is that I was having difficulty thinking of any legal basis for a negative answer, "No, his actions were not improper because -- well, it was his wife for pete's sakes!"

Sometimes, I get caught up with day-to-day activities and I sin. I curse at a driver. I speak a bad word. I miss a Sunday mass -- and I worry that I'd fail. I even had a bad dream where I couldn't find my name in the paper. That basically gave me an inkling about how devastated I'd be come April. Yes, I'm preparing myself for the bad news.

God! I hate waiting. It's pure torture. It's like someone has got a hard grip on my heart and wouldn't let go.

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