Oh Happy Day!

I have finally achieved closure from a certain person. I have asked him all the questions that I needed to ask for the past 10 years and he has answered all of them. He was honest - I know he was. He didn't mince words. It felt good to finally know the answers that I have kept for almost 10 years! I'm now free of guilt, regrets and what-ifs.

Basically, his answer can be summarized in one sentence, "I just didn't care enough." "Things wouldn't have just worked out for us" :) It was not my fault and there was nothing I could have done to change things then. So there. I now feel stupid for holding on to those questions. Geeze (insert eyes rolling here)

I didn't know how much I needed to know until I finally know. (Hala. garo tongue twister.) I wonder though if my choices would have been different if I know the answers 10 years ago. Well, it's not my fault. He never gave me the opportunity to ask. He pretended that I didn't exist -- or at least that's what I thought.

In case, you're wondering if Erbe knows about all these. Of course, he does. At first, I didn't want to tell him because I thought he'd freak out, but I finally told him and he seems fine. I even declared that I am going to be friends with X. So, no, I'm not cheating on my hubby. On the other hand, the whole thing actually prompted Erbe to wonder if he can email his ex (Jinx, not that ex, the one-great-love-ex si JING) to ask her some things as well. He does not feel comfortable about contacting her though. I told him he should because it feels so goddamn good.

Anyway, to cap that one, I have received a great news. You know, the thing I have been praying for? It seems like I am going to get it. I'm still crossing my fingers though. After all, it's not over until the fat lady sings. Jinx, I think I am going to give you my generous boss after all. :)









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