The First Time I Had My Heart Broken and Got Dumped

I came across this blog post and I decided to write one myself. After all, this topic makes for a very interesting blog post.

The person who first dumped me and the person who first broke my heart are two different persons. The former is still my friend. The latter falls under the what-the-fuck-was-I-thinking category.

I first had my heart broken when I was 18 years old. He was this guy that I was dating for about 6 months. He was cute and he was in a band. He was a couple of inches shorter than me. He had scraggly long hair which I disliked but which my infatuation-stricken mind excused. I always knew he had a huge crush on my best friend, but I didn’t know that he was going to be an ass about it.

I was in Brunei for a summer vacation when I called my best friend and she told that my douche of a boyfriend actually told her that he was in-love with her. He even gave her the same song that he gave me. What was it? Oh yeah, that kill-me-now Titanic song, My Heart Will Go On. The fact that this song once gave me a thrill embarrasses the hell out of me. When I later asked him (yes, we became friends; although we’re no longer friends now) why he gave her the same song, he told me that it was the only ballad song he knew at that time. Him, being the long-haired 90’s rocker that he was – this makes sense in a really twisted way.

I was in Brunei, so I steeled myself against the heartache. This does not mean I did not have my heart broken. I was just shocked, but I did not cry. I am very good at this. Everything just shuts down every time I have my heart broken. I never cry. I have perfected this craft. It goes with the territory of being the daughter of an OFW. You get use to saying goodbye.

Anyway, he did not dump me. He didn’t want to break up. The sheer nerve! I dumped his sorry ass though. Only an idiot would still want him.

Now, when it comes to being dumped, I have been dumped twice. The first time I got dumped, I was 20 years old. I was completely blindsided by that one. I didn’t even saw it coming. One minute, we were coddling, the next minute he was dumping me. Come to think of it, that too was a douche move on his part. I don’t know how I got through it. He was not just any fling. He was a very good friend before we started dating. If there was something that was truly heartbreaking about the whole thing – it was the fact that I lost my friend that fateful day.

I was not prepared for that one. I cried my eyes out and basically became miserable for one whole fucking year. I was gutted to say the least. I made a fairly miserable picture. The idiot didn’t even know it. He just went on his merry way and found himself another girlfriend.

Anyway, that was the first and last time I cried over a guy after a break up. I also learned some valuable lessons that I held on to during those tough dating years.

1. When it’s over, it’s over. Deal with it. When a guy says it’s over, trust me, he means it. You wouldn’t even have to wonder if he wants you back. Guys are fairly honest when it comes to this. If they want you, they want you. If they don’t, they don’t.
2. Don’t get hurt, get mad. Okay, I don’t mean psychotic hell-bent-on-murder kind of mad. And don’t go stalking his current girlfriend. Don’t harass his girlfriend either. I know some pretty messed-up women who do this. It’s not the girlfriend’s fault if he’s with her. It’s not your fault either. Still, jump right on to the mad part. Skip the denial stage. It's easier to forget a guy when you're mad at him - and you can't for the life of you remember why you thought his kisses were great.
   
3. Surround yourself with good friends – preferably those who won’t date your ex and who would hate your ex along with you.
4. Get yourself a makeover. A really good haircut can make you feel damn good, I swear. I often have one after every breakup. It’s nice.
5. Have fun. There’s nothing more insulting to a “dumper” than seeing the “dumpee” getting on with her life happily despite being dumped. Having you pining over him is good for his ego. Do not give him the satisfaction of seeing you miserable. Make this your mantra, “Good riddance, you ass.”
6. Make sure to date someone better next time. Oh, no, you don’t give up on love no matter how many frogs fate throws your way. Trust me, you too will find your prince.