I slept early yesterday evening, so I woke up with a growling stomach. I decided to take a walk and buy something to eat. Erbe was still asleep, so I decided to go on my own. Needless to say, it was a lonely walk. I hate walking alone because I think when I walk. I hate being alone with my thoughts. They can be very depressing. Have you noticed that when you stop doing something that’s when your thoughts come flooding in?
As I stepped outside, I noticed that the fog hasn’t settled yet. I swear I could taste the acrid tang on my lips. Ignoring the biting chill, I continued to walk. I noticed that there were already joggers going up and down the bridge. At 5 o’clock? I thought, “a bit early”. I looked at a couple of them limping and continued on my way. Those kinds of scenes are fairly common in the morning. The bridge has become a favored jogging spot by many people.
Walking alone gave me time to notice things. I noticed the little and big changes that weren’t there when we first moved here. I used to walk the same route practically every day with Hazel. That was 7 years ago – and I began to miss 7 years ago. At that time, I had my first taste of failure – seemingly, the first of many to come. At that time, I was young and I was standing on the same ground with everybody else. At that time, I still had the world to conquer.
But I took an unplanned route and fate bit my ass.
I missed the sheer simplicity of those moments when I would take a walk with Haze or Kris. The smell of ilang-ilang enveloping the darkness never fails to elicit a sigh from us.
It was the summer of 2002. We just transferred here from Arana and we were the new faces. It was also the summer of flings and love affairs. Haze and I had fun sneaking out just to watch basketball games. Remembering, I missed her so much.
There are several new houses now, I’ve noticed as I continued on my walk this morning. I passed by the ilang-ilang tree and I stood there, searching for flowers. It was barren – as barren as the morning was. And just like that I felt old. I felt the tears brimming. I turned away from the tree and started to walk faster and faster and faster so that my thoughts won’t catch up with me.
It was a damn lonely walk. I hate walking alone.
As I stepped outside, I noticed that the fog hasn’t settled yet. I swear I could taste the acrid tang on my lips. Ignoring the biting chill, I continued to walk. I noticed that there were already joggers going up and down the bridge. At 5 o’clock? I thought, “a bit early”. I looked at a couple of them limping and continued on my way. Those kinds of scenes are fairly common in the morning. The bridge has become a favored jogging spot by many people.
Walking alone gave me time to notice things. I noticed the little and big changes that weren’t there when we first moved here. I used to walk the same route practically every day with Hazel. That was 7 years ago – and I began to miss 7 years ago. At that time, I had my first taste of failure – seemingly, the first of many to come. At that time, I was young and I was standing on the same ground with everybody else. At that time, I still had the world to conquer.
But I took an unplanned route and fate bit my ass.
I missed the sheer simplicity of those moments when I would take a walk with Haze or Kris. The smell of ilang-ilang enveloping the darkness never fails to elicit a sigh from us.
It was the summer of 2002. We just transferred here from Arana and we were the new faces. It was also the summer of flings and love affairs. Haze and I had fun sneaking out just to watch basketball games. Remembering, I missed her so much.
There are several new houses now, I’ve noticed as I continued on my walk this morning. I passed by the ilang-ilang tree and I stood there, searching for flowers. It was barren – as barren as the morning was. And just like that I felt old. I felt the tears brimming. I turned away from the tree and started to walk faster and faster and faster so that my thoughts won’t catch up with me.
It was a damn lonely walk. I hate walking alone.
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Listening to: The Ghost of You by MLTR
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