What My Epitaph Would Probably Say

Reading through some of the world’s famous epitaphs, I wondered how mine would say if I write it and how it would say if others wrote it for me. So, let’s see:

Me: Well, that was fun!

Erbe: Here lies my wife. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Silence at last!

Mommy:

This child of mine
Just turned deaf
When I told her
To please lay her hands off the ref!
She just went ahead
And did what I prohibited
Now at look at her
Just laying there dead!

Kris: Now, you’ve really done it. I won’t be covering up for your ass this time!

Daddy:

Here lies my child who said she was on a diet.
Should have whopped her ass good for lying!

Tinay:

There lies my matchmaker.
She went ahead and died on me.
How dare she?!

My Friends:

There lies our friend.
Finally, we can now trust her to shut her mouth
And keep our secrets.

My Enemies:

Here lies my enemy.
Oh, goody, goody.
May her soul rest in eternal suffering.

My Blog Readers:

Here lies a blogger.
Her blog was asinine
But it was good enough to kill time.