To My Own

Silence speaks

But words could be found

In an unlikely place

Filling my soul

Filling the empty places

Barren for so long

Because you came

And then you came

I found my transient solace

My own sanctuary

Because you came

A temporal existence

A cherished reprieve

That my soul yearns

But would lose

Passing, I know

You said the words

An abysmal gratitude for you being you

For words only you had said

For who I am

For who I was when you came

For I, who I would lose

Because you came

And would leave

For making me cry

Without a reason -

Yet perhaps with

But words fail me

Describing beyond my grasp

A feeling enveloped me

And then I cried

Thoughts of you fills me

Fills my heart enough to make me smile

At night you'd whisper,

Goodnight, my love, goodnight

And I'd close my eyes thankful

Because you said goodnight, not goodbye

I'd cherish you and follow you

Like the silent sparks

The black burnt coals hid

Or like that subdued place

Your soul keeps

I'd follow you

Like the calm path

That the heavens cast

Though I know I dream

And am afraid to wake up

I'd still dream

Like a promise meant to be kept

Like a kiss barely felt

Like a smile barely seen

Like a spring barely shown

Yet I'd dream

I have nothing else to lose

Because by not dreaming,

I'd lose you

So, let me have you

In the only way I know how.

-- To him I have yet to learn how much I love (January 30, 2000)