30 and Single

One friend said, "If I only have other options, I'd leave him without a thought."

Another friend just left about 30 minutes ago.

It's 3:30 in the morning.

She and her boyfriend didn't have a fight – she was anticipating a fight though so she left in order to avoid it.

Life gets a little bit complicated when you're an adult. No, scratch it. Life is complicated when you are an adult. When I listen to my friends talk about their boyfriends though, their relationships, or search for "the one" – I have to be my 25-year-old self – you know, that girl/woman who was toying with the idea of marriage, but still wondering if she's found "the one" or if she should close the door on someone from her past who could still be "the TARDY one". That woman did not worry about milk, diapers or colic.

Yes, my concerns and worries are entirely different now. I do not feel superior or think myself superior or above the worries of a single woman, but my problems are different now. So, I have to revert back to being my 25-year-old me, so I can remember how it felt to be single and to be playing the field and the game of Hide and Seek. I also have to tell myself to refrain from giving advices like I know better because "I have been there, done that – after all, I'm effing married, am I not?" That'd be complete bullshit.

There is one thing that I don't and wouldn't know – how it feels to be 30 and still be looking for "the elusive effed up asshole who just wouldn't appear". I also wouldn't know how it feels to be 30 and to be once AGAIN looking for "the one who's LOST somewhere in Sahara"

I've noticed though that people tend to make some compromises that they wouldn't normally make if they were 22 and they still had many options available to them.

Age tends to put a lot of pressure on people. Growing old really sucks – and if you are single, growing old feels like a death toll on your dreams of having a family of your own. And it's that same gnawing pressure that compels people to compromise their ideals.

Sometimes, love takes a backseat in exchange for an opportunity to have a family and kids.

And the weird thing about this is that marriage is not what it is crack up to be. It takes a lot of hard work and compromise. And it needs a lot of love to survive – lots and lots of love. Because sometimes, when life takes a huge bite on your asses, all you will have is each other, bitten asses and all. Without it, I doubt if you could even last a year.

But people will continue to make compromises and love will continue to take a backseat over their desire to have a family, to have the white-picket fences and the porch and the swing. Because when you are 30, you feel it. You feel that that is where you should be at. That is what you should be having. But is it really?

It's definitely nice to have someone to cuddle with. It's pure bliss to have someone to give you a massage when your back hurts like hell. But those things come with a lot of hard work. Love should not be compromised.

I think that if you are in a relationship with a person that you can't imagine loving farts and all 50 years from now, then you should seriously reconsider entering into a lifetime commitment with that person. But then again, what do I know? I am married after all and I wouldn't know how it feels to be 30, single and still looking.

This I know though, If I were in that position, I'd continue looking. I will never compromise. I wouldn't mind being single just as long as I stay fabulous. If I were single and waiting for the TARDY one, I'd make sure that I live it – every minute of it, so I'd have a life that is fully lived. I'd make sure that every married woman I know would envy me and would want to have my life. But then again, you can always argue that it's easy for me to say this because I do not know how it's like. Perhaps, you're right. Well, in that case, touche.