An Anniversary Post

You get to meet hundreds of people in your lifetime, but you only get to meet one person who'd touch your life and irreversibly change it.

That's what happened to me.

You see, when I met my husband and chose to love my husband - and yes, it was a conscious decision - I knew it wouldn't be easy. I'd be threading grounds that few will likely have the courage to face. But I told myself that every good day is worth thousands of bad ones. Oh, there were days when I probably convinced myself otherwise.

Because, yes, there were bad days... and there were really, really bad days. And during these times, I'd usually find myself bartering with God. I'd make promises that I knew half of which I wouldn't be able to keep, but I made them anyway. I'd be crying my eyes out, praying for hours and bartering with God.

And during these bad days, I clung on to the good days - days when we'd laugh our ass off over the silliest things. That doesn't happen often because my husband has the corniest sense of humor, so I'd often find myself rolling my eyes over one of his corny quips. Still, I treasure them.

I treasure the quiet moments. You know, those moments when the world is asleep, and we'd find ourselves whispering stories that we probably have told each other a hundred times before. Sometimes, I'd find myself asking him to tell me a story and finding myself prompting him on parts that I already know.

During the bad days, I only had the good days to cling on to.

It's not easy... I knew it wouldn't be because my choice requires a lot of sacrifice. And sometimes, I find myself experiencing bouts of self-pity and I'd find myself lashing at him, blaming him for things that I've lost and things I probably will not have because I chose him and I chose a life with him. But at the end of the day, just before I go to sleep, I seek him.

I seek him because despite what everyone might think, it's I who need him. I probably need him more than he needs me.

Life is not easy sometimes for both of us. For one thing, we can never really say goodbye to his white pill. We'll always have a threesome with that small white bottle. But I will never exchange any of this for anything else. Yes, I could have easily just walked away, but love is not something you walk away from.  You find it only once. 

Oh yes, you'll fall in-love a lot of times, but the real thing, you know, the kind that really rocks your world, you find that only once.  That kind of love is silent.  You barely know its there because it embraces you and refuses to let go.

You see, sometimes, love comes in an package that you can easily rip. Sometimes, it doesn't. Our story is not your typical story. We probably started with your usual boy-meets-girl theme, but it's definitely not a fairy tale. Ironically, however, I ended up with my own Prince, yes, he might be a little bit rough around the edges, but with a little dusting, he's definitely a keeper.

And that is why I kept him.

And I'm blessed that he definitely does not let any day passed without making me feel that I am a keeper too. :)

p.s.
I should have posted this last December 30.