Should You Keep In Touch With Your Ex?

Earlier this evening, my hubby and I were talking about his ex. He told me she does not seem to be that interested in being friends with him because she seems fairly dismissive in her emails - and in fact, she does not reply to some of his emails.

Okay, you might be thinking that I should be throwing the biggest fit of the century with this announcement, but I didn't. Of course, the thought of him sending her emails left a bad taste in my mouth, but not bad enough for me to throw a fit. I told him though that he should refrain from sending her messages since she obviously is not interested in staying friends with him.

"You're only giving her the impression that you are still hang up on her," I told him. And in my opinion, it does. Because seriously, why would you keep sending messages to someone who just doesn't give a helluva f**k if you still exist, right?

Anyway, this made me think - and think...and think...and think.

Would you keep in touch with an ex? And why would you? And why wouldn't you?

In my opinion, I think the answer would depend upon several things.

Let's take my hubby's ex for instance. Perhaps, she's just the type who believes that exes should stay where they belong - the past. Perhaps, she thinks that E is still into her, so she needs to discourage him. Perhaps, she just hates his guts for what he did to her before. Whatever her reason/s might be, she prefers that they do not keep in touch. She's not completely rude, but she obviously does not want to exchange emails.

Let's take Mr. A and Ms. B, for example, two people who never really broke their ties even after they broke up and who still admit to being in-love with one another after years of being apart - and being married to other people. That's another reason for keeping in touch with your ex, but I honestly doubt if that is healthy. At the end of the day, that kind of tie will only break your heart again and again and again.

And then, let's see, there's me! I am in-touch with a couple of exes. And yes, E knows about this. It irritates him. One ex, I am in-touch with because, well, because I just don't care enough to bother about not being in touch with him. He doesn't affect me in any way, so talking to him does not even warrant an analysis of the act. So, if he sends a message, I answer. I don't dismiss him. He doesn't even warrant a dismissal. I don't waste any emotion on him. And that's that.

The other one? He's a friend. He was a friend long before he became something else. Now, this one is a little bit complicated. Since after all, he is hiding the fact that we're keeping in touch from his partner. It amuses me. Sometimes, it irritates me. Nowadays, it has become a bit insulting. But he has his reasons, so... Anyway, the lines are clearly drawn. It may be amusing to flirt with the boundaries of these lines, but they're there nonetheless.

I read this article - Keep in Touch with Exes or Cut Ties? - and the comments offer interesting views.

So, what do you think? Should you keep in touch with your ex? Or should you cut ties?

I think it's okay to do so as long as you are honest with yourself about why you are keeping in touch with your ex (and why you want to) and as long as you know you are not sticking around with the hope that you will get back together. If feelings still exist for both or either of you, it is definitely not healthy to be in constant communication with your ex. That only leads to misery. That only screws you up and messes with your head. But then again, that's just my opinion. I'm not an expert.

So, I'd better stop here. I am beginning to feel like I'm writing a paid article and not just blogging. Geeze.