Paige Made a Promise

And here's a video I'd probably enjoy showing to Paige for a long, long time. Okay, I respect how parents prefer to rear their children, but I really don't understand why I'd have Paige speaking in English or Tagalog when she's living here and conversing with Bicolanos. I'd feel pretentious. Anyway, that's just me. What do I know, right? So, here's the vid.  Forgive the quality. I was using my mobile phone and the light was poor....

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A Minute of Self-Pity

Life sucks. It really does - OR at least it has for me for the last month. I'm depressed, really really depressed. I try to cheer myself up sometimes, but I have to admit, I am really, really depressed now. I don't feel well as well. Life sucks. Right now, I wish - I have more time for myself. I am not asking for too much. I just need three days - three days of ME time. I don't have to worry about anything or anyone. I am tired of worrying. I...

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To Be Grateful

Life has been a bitch, a real bitch. And I thought of posting my complaints here. I thought I'd let out all my frustrations, anger and worries here. But I guess, I'd rather not. I gave myself a good cry already. I haven't been really crying. Oh, I gave in a couple of times, but I haven't really allowed myself a good cry, a healing one. Life is such a bitch sometimes. Have I said that already? I've already written about Paige coming down with a viral infection in her brain. She's lucky she escaped unscathed. Some people are not lucky. Many end...

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Unleashed

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I don't want to, but I doAfter all these years. Still.I've realized that I am very good at deluding myself into thinking that I don't care.  That you don't exist, but every now and then, a memory leaps forward, takes its hold and refuses to let go.I wish you all the happiness in the world. I mean it.  Well, now, I do.I'd probably wish you hell tomorrow.So.I miss you.I've been thinking of you. More than usual.Do you want to know how it's like for me?It's like - a huge black emptiness has settled...

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The Creature

Today was an... interesting day. Yes, interesting, that's the word. It describes exactly how this day went.  It was interesting enough to warrant a blog entry. I met up with Lynette, Lex (Nette's baby), Che and Sette for lunch.  Erbe and Paige were with me, but Erbe was just there to eat and run.  He had some stuffs to take care of, so he couldn't stay long.  Anyway, this would have been an uneventful day if not for the fact that...

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Effed Up

I want to cry. I want to cry so hard that angels would take pity on me and harangued God with all my solicitations. I want to cry so hard that the Earth would weep with me. This is long overdue But despite the tears that I have shed, I have not shed enough to cleanse my heart out of all its anger...bitterness...and fear. I want to cry that tears would drown me and heal me. That I'd find comfort from knowing that I can feel. I don't know what I fear most - the fact that I need to cry or the fact that I can't seem to cry. Emotions are all bottled...

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Paige at the Hospital

Paige was diagnosed with encephalitis. We were told she's lucky that we were able to bring her to the hospital before her condition became irreversible. Initially, she had fever and stomachache. Eventually, she started complaining of headache and she started sleeping 24/7. We'd try to wake her up but she was only able to manage to stay up for 15 minutes tops and she'd go back to sleep. Sussette put her on antibiotics but her condition didn't change. We went to see a GI doctor and we were told he didn't see anything wrong with her - or at least...

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Signal #2

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Coripoo

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Dear God

I know you're busy and all. And I don't pray often enough for you to hear me. Life has been quite peaceful and You've been very kind. So, I've probably forgotten to say a prayer every now and then. But now I beg of you, Please listen to my prayer. It's really quite simple, Lord. Please heal my daughter. That's all I ask. She's in pain and as much as I want to cry along with her, I can't. I have to be strong for now. But please just heal her. Take...

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