Back on the Hamster Wheel

It is starting all over again.

That stupid nightmare.

I feel like a freaking hamster, running on that wheel, going nowhere, just desperately running and scrambling for dear life!

Like a hamster, hoping it can get off. But no matter how much I run, I keep going back to the same place, ending up in the same place.

I am hoping I could outrun all these fucked up emotions.

I checked once. twice.

Turned it off and on.

Checked again in case it was on silent mode.

I hate that. I hate checking. I hate waiting.

I hate all the freakish emotions.

I should not have started this again.

I was already in a good place. I was happy. I was at peace. My mind was at peace, so was my heart. I knew where I belong. I knew where I should be. I want that. Desperately.

I should just let it go. This is really confusing the hell out of me.

I am going to let this go.