A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the paper, you probably will never see it.
I have never been affected by any story as much as Baby P's story has affected me. Yesterday evening, I found myself sobbing twice! I just can't get over the sheer horror of the story.
In my country, it has never happened before that the media and the people have been forbidden to actually reveal the names and faces of TC and SB, the murderers of Baby P.
Over the holy week break, I spent the entire four days just watching the 15 episodes of this Korean show. Yes, I am a self-confessed Korean drama addict. I already have my favorite actors and actresses; albeit, I don’t know their names.
We took - what feels like - hundreds of pictures, but these are the only decent ones. Ironically, they're still crappy. :) I didn't want to post this in Facebook, so I thought I'd just post it here. After all, I will not bother anyone if I post it here. It's my blog after all. I can put up pictures of me crapping if I want to. so, that's that.
It's 3 in the morning. It's foggy outside. Go figure. Sometimes, I feel like my life is exactly like that - foggy. Half of the time, I am not sure if I am doing the right thing...pursuing the right thing. Sometimes, I feel like I am doing impossible leaps of faith. Yes, that's redundant.
Anyway, I just took a bath - yes, at 3 in the morning. Looking out of the window though, I noticed that it's a bright night, albeit foggy. The romantic in me kicked in. I love foggy nights. I love foggy mornings.
I wanted to write something sensible, but I guess I'm - once again - rambling. It has been a while since I wrote anything sensible or even remotely funny. Truth be told, a lot of things have happened, but I seemed to have lost my penchant for blogging. Sometimes, I think I was only blogging because of him.
I guess it was my way of telling him my story...It was my way of telling him what was happening to me.
After all these years.
Oh, well. I'm finally cured of that affliction now (or so I tell myself). The medicine came in a handsome package - one with a cute butt. :)
Lately, I have been reading status updates in Facebook, stuffs like, "Why do I still miss you after all these years?" OR updates like, "I have forgotten how you smell like...finally." OR something like, "I am almost over you..."
I realized this is a redundant story. Nobody has monopoly over this type of story. It's sad though. Sometimes, I find myself irritated with these kinds of updates. I find myself almost tempted to leave a nasty comment like, "Oh, get over it! Go bury yourself and spare us the crap!" or something even nastier.
But I can't.
You see, I was one of them. Ironically, I was hurt like hell, but it was difficult to let go. I guess it's always hard to let go of a good thing. On the other hand, it's always easy to let go of a crappy relationship and an ass of a boyfriend.
The other night, my friend texted me. She was crying over her boyfriend who broke up with her for the nth time. It has practically became a hobby between them to break up every now and then. It's hard to sympathize when you know for a fact that fairly soon enough they'd be back in each other's arms. Some people are lucky like that.
Don't get me wrong though. I am happy - and no, I am not convincing myself of that. I am. I am just so tired all the time. I just received a back massage from E, so I am a bit relaxed right now and sentimental. Did I say back massage? Oh yes, that's his way of helping me relax after a stressful day. I am just lucky like that. :)
But who's the guy I was blogging for?
Well, that's for me to know and for you to just wonder about. :))
I am tired. I am so tired that the minute I close my eyes, I immediately go to REM. I swear! I think I have probably taken on more than I can chew, but I am dealing with them. I function at 5-6 hours a day - and if I get at least 7 hours of sleep, I am very happy.
I am freaking exhausted, but I am having fun - a helluva lot of fun.
I went back to school, and I realized I love studying. I love learning. I love the rush. I'd probably go back for more.
Life is funny sometimes.
No, scratch that. Life is such a freaking joker. It's like a freaking monster that rears up every now and then, and bites you where it hurts like hell - your ass.
God, I am tired. Have I said that already? I am so tired that my mind goes blank as I try to write something. Everything is the same, truth be told. But I love the fact that I am owning my life - or at least have taken the steps to owning it.
Every now and then, I allow myself to think. Unfortunately, that's not too often.
I am rambling. You do not have to read.
Earlier, I was asked by my professor, "What do you do when you are doing nothing?"
I can't think of anything because I have been so busy with a lot of things that I have forgotten the last time I was "doing nothing". Of course, I find the question a bit ridiculous. I don't think that there's really ever a time that you are not doing anything, right?
Play of words.
Still, I haven't been asked questions like that for such a long time, so I kind of enjoyed the debate. My teacher, a philosophy teacher, is a bit progressive in his approach to teaching. He's actually fun - and he's learn-ed.
I am rambling, I know. Again, you don't have to read. I am actually trying to think of something to write, but god, I am exhausted. I really should just hit the sack and work tomorrow. I need the rest.
The Gary V. concert and the trip to Legaspi will definitely do me good.
Anyway, let me share some photos. These are just a few of the things that made me smile the past couple of weeks, I think. :)
I can't sleep - and damn it, I feel like I can't breathe. I am trying to hold back tears and I am failing miserably.
I am not good at this. I hate this. Ironically, I should be very good at this. I have had 16 years of practice, but this is not easy for me.
I should be sleeping. I have just put Riley to bed for the nth time. I am tired and my stomach hurts. But I can't sleep. It's actually quite pathetic.
But after 5 years of having him near me - and being with him 24/7, it sucks not to have him around at all times.
Sacrifices, they say, are a part of marriage. I should know. I grew up without my mother. Still, this is hard.
I feel I can't breathe. He's not even that far. But once or twice a week is a huge change from everyday 24/7. It's hard not to have him around to tell things to when something amuses me, enrages me, hurts me, fascinates me...
You see, after five years of marriage, my husband is not only the love of my life, he is also my very best friend.
Crying helps, I think. It is healing. At least, I don't have my emotions bottled up inside me anymore. That is another fuck up thing though - he's the only who can comfort me when I am depressed or sad. And I don't have that source of comfort with me right now.
I have to be strong though because I always have to be the stronger one. What makes me even sadder though is the fact that Paige is going to miss him badly. Oh, well. At least I got to let that all out.
Forgive me. I shouldn't be blogging this, but I need to.
Paige is a sassy, silly, funny little girl, but she can be a pain in the ass too. My father calls her "Paige the Menace".
I toyed with the idea of downloading Dennis the Menace for her, but I changed my mind - she might end up burning the whole neighborhood.
I once blogged about the possibility of her having ADHD. Sussette assured me though that she did not see any reason why I should think Paige has it. Although my worry has abated, I still find myself wondering if I should get Paige checked for the condition.
Anyway, I think Paige's problem is not ADHD - it's actually the utter and complete lack of discipline. No, scratch that, we I discipline her, but it's hard after years of being spoiled by her grandmother.
Anyway, I digress.Yesterday evening, my mother was watching TV while Paige stood in front of the mirror busily removing her boogers. :)
After a few minutes, she casually went to my mother and wiped her fingers on my mother's cheek. And she started laughing.
Busily watching her soap operas, my mother didn't know that she had boogers on her cheeks until I pointed them out to her.
Naturally, Mamu got mad and she started lecturing Paige."Bad yan baby! Sabi ko baga saimo, maaanggot ang angel mo. Mauugma ang devil. Sige ka kukuanun ka kang devil, ano Tere?"
Turning to me, she said, "Ne, yan na ngunian ang patakot ko saiya."
She once again addressed Paige, "Tapos magagadan ka, ano Tere?"Magagadan? I thought.She continued, "Tapos ilulubong ka... tapos maruluwas ang mga bulate sa dungo mo... "
Bulate sa dungo? I thought.
"...maruluwas pati halas sa mata mo, ano Tere?"
Aghast, I just stood there silent. I couldn't believe what she was saying. Then she asked again, "Ano, Tere?"
I gave out a big sigh and then promptly turned away, muttering, "Morbidun man po Mommy pigpaparasabi mo."I could hear my mother's laughter while I walked away.
