The Things I Learned from Being a Mom

I am not your typical mom.  In fact, I am so atypical that I envy the normal ones, you know regular mothers.  I have my own way of doing things.  I think I frustrate Erbe who is so traditional in his views that he probably regrets marrying me.  I think he starts his prayers with, "Dear God, please help me reform my wife."


If you were married to me and you are quite traditional, you will regret it.  You see, I believe not all women are born with this overwhelming desire to clean the house, chop onions and grate cheese.

Okay, I know there are great pleasures they said you'd derive from "serving" your husband or your children.  One word comes to mind though every time I hear this chauvinistic statement - ARCHAIC.  Seriously?!  I'd probably do these things because I see them as:

1. Things I have to do because nobody else will do them

2. Things I want to do because it'll please my husband

However, #2 is negotiable.  It depends on how pleased I am with the husband as well.  If he's being an ass, should I still try to please His Majesty?

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Love

Love.

It's a simple four letter word. It's practically a cliche. For love is a whore of a word. It has been used so often as a lie or as the truth.  It's easy to say...love. It rolls out the tongue like a soft breeze in a summer night. It's easy to say. What it is, however, is difficult to find.  Everybody wants it.  Everybody is looking for it, but not everyone finds it. 

Love.

Sometimes, you think you have it and then then you'd find yourself wondering if you really truly had it. It's what makes people give up their faith or give up on their dreams. Ironically, it's also the one thing that can truly drive men to great heights. It's consuming.

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Drowning

Drowning. That's how I feel.
I feel like I need to swim to the surface fast, just to breathe.
That's what I am doing.
I wonder where you draw the lines. I wonder when you throw in the towel.  I wonder when should you stop caring or hurting or giving a damn.  Because seriously, nobody wants you to give a damn.  Nobody really gives a shit whether you cry or not.
Oh, this is not about my marriage - I suppose you're thinking, "Are they having problems?"
No, it's not
It's about giving a damn, feeling shitty for somebody else's shit.
I just wish I'd stop caring.
Well, anyway, I have my life to live. So, I should just think about that.

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Interlude

Lately, I have realized that respect is a necessary ingredient in all kinds of relationships.  You really can't have a relationship with a person you don't respect.  How do you relate to someone you can't respect?  How do you continue to love someone you do not respect?

No, my marriage is not under the rocks.  I'm what you call semi-happy. My husband would call our marriage, however, a marriage of eternal bliss.  I guess it all boils down to what makes an individual happy.  There are things I want and I need.  My issues are wholly my own.  They have nothing to do with my husband who I might say is a saint.  It has nothing to do with the kind of relationship we have.  There are some things I have to work out for myself. If my marriage is semi-happy, that'd be because I am my problem.  Erbe, however, would tell you that we are very, very happy.  The truth is, we are.

I wish I can write something humorous.  But lately, life has not been humorous for me.

I deleted a post - the one I wrote before this.

In case, you didn't read it.  I want you to know that I did create another blog, my online journal.  Something I'd keep to myself. Oh, it's out there. I'm in my most awesome asshole form there.  Bitch of all bitches.  I just want to keep it to myself though. I can be my honest self there.

Meanwhile, I will keep posting on this one.  Just because I can. So, there.

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Adieu

This blog has its good run.  I enjoyed writing for this blog, but I feel that I should start a new one.  Blogging is my emotional outlet.  I take out my garbage here.  Unfortunately, it has come to a point where I can no longer write to my heart's content because I am considering my readers' feelings - and I don't want to consider anybody's feelings but my own when I am writing.  I cannot control who reads my blog and unfortunately, I do not like some of my readers - yes, that includes you.

So, I am going to stop writing for this blog and continuing on with another one.  Since you are reading this right now, you probably would like to know my new blog's URL address - OR not. Well, if you do, send me an email and I will send my blog address to you, that is if I like you.  If I don't, I'll probably just send you an article entitled 10 Good Reasons Why I Think You Should Jump Off a Cliff. Well, it was great writing for you - well, some of you. I bid you adieu. :)

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