just another day

my bestfriend just told me that she has been reading this.. so given that incentive, i have decided to grace this blog of mine with any b-u-l-l that my equally crazee bessie would appreciate reading..nah, we are not in the league of the homo who has perfected the art.. what i am, is missing her because she has gone to NZ to further extend her study of the art of the White Race butt..

yesterday, i had received an email from this supposed lottery thingie.. (which of course i didn't join) and got informed that i have supposedly won 2,500,000 freaking dollars!! yeah, right, and the vatican just venerated bin laden for sainthood. but curse me, my heart began to race for there was no bloody catch on the bloody email! nothing at all! so, although in this world where "hannibal lecters" exist..my thoughts drift to what i could possibly do with such amount of money if in a sudden reversed rotation of the planet, i really have won that amount of money.. happy thoughts..happy thoughts indeed.. :)

anyways, as usual i have no money.. the supposedly 13th month pay hasn't been given yet, and the fucked up thing about that is that the whole amount would not even be given! id still have deductions for the absences and late that i already have paid for.. this company is screaming, positively screaming for a bloody law suit! being a law student.. i am kinda thinking of complying.. hmp!

ask me people if my mother has already bought the bloody fingerlings?? uh-huh..she has not! so i am still up to my neck with the responsibility of buying those bloody fishes that look like snakes! (probably as confused about their identity as much as that person i know of) and i am beginning to hate myself for my repeated whining about that here!

the thing is, tinay still owes my soul.. but the thing is my salary is like timbuktu to her europe! and timbuktu though it is, i am planning to buy a celphone.. sue me! it is still my bloody money! so i am now having insomnia trying to figure out how to redeem my soul from the clutches of tinay! :) (pautangin mo kaya ako bes.. my account number is 44556654! PNB bessie, PNB!)

i am pathetic! i think, i have to stop this now.. please, somebody shoot me.

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running thoughts that ended up with tinay

what do u say when u have nothing to say? when thoughts drift through your head, but u still stares at a page.. incessantly.. just stare.. still words can't seem to form.. i guess u do this.. and then suddenly thoughts come rushing through your head, flows to your fingers.. and then u start writing.. though at some point (like what i have just reached) u start wondering, what the hell am i blabbing about?! so u pause again.. u wonder, am i going to write about what i have been up to lately? nah.. that would be exhausting..bcoz although i can claim living such a busy freaking life, i have done nothing at all to warrant interest from anybody..

let me start with another thought..

i am screwed up.. erbe can attest to that. what do u call a girl who is being loved completely, and who loves completely, but everyday wants to let go? screwed up, right? yep, that's me.. so its boring to pursue this line of thought..

x'mas is bout 3 days away, and again i have no money.. tinay owns my soul at this moment.. i do not owe anyone as much as i owe her..

oh! that reminds me maybe i can write about her "crush".. yes, u see dear reader (whoever u might be) tinay, a dear friend, is the person guilty of the extinction of the dinosaurs..big that they were, they were probably scared shit of the scrunched up face of that girl, while she was shouting, "kacheapan nindo! kacheapan!" in that twilight world, i am describing, the dinosaurs in some twisted way because of such immense fear died. yep, just bloody choked, and centuries later turned up in science/history books dead! nobody knows why! blame it on tinay, i say! (geeze! this is pathetic!).

Anyways, my point is that, scary and intimidating she might be to men.. she has a crush!!! blessed are you lord! well, from a girl who cursed everything that remotely relates to any form of feelings, she has come a long way.. she lets me hug and kiss her, without cringing, who calls any and all forms of emotions, kacheapan.. she has come a long way.. but still i blame her for the sad demise of those poor dinosaurs.. :)

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Biting ASS

i just got my ass hauled into the office for some major biting..hehehe.. and no, i did not enjoy it.

I am not one of those masochistic people, or kinky ones who like their asses bitten in any way.. but i just got my ass bitten by the boss because i am one of those who in the sudden inspiration of rebellion, did not come to the office yesterday and caused the office thousands of money (and so the Oh Glorious Biting One says when he deemed to come down from heaven knows where and talked to me)

Am i sorry? Hell no! well, a little because bitch that i am i still felt sorry for the boss for the money he losts.. and yah, i kinda understand his part, but i understand my MOm's side..hell! she has been waiting for this blasted money so she could buy, oh yes, as i have mentioned so many times, her bloody fingerlings! and she has this huge thing built to hold all the fishes (that in my horrible days plan on setting the poor cat on to feast!)

oh well, that's life.. biting asses..so keep on biting Oh Glorious Biting One..hehehe..

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life sucks bigtime!

sometimes it sucks really!

no, i don't want to go on to my usual repertoire of extreme negativity.. but forgive me if i will pursue this line of thought today..coz things do sucks.. i mean, life happens.. and things change (how much dawson's creek can u get?!) but yes it does.. u grow old, and things change.. ur priorities change, and when as before you were only expected to wash the dishes, suddenly you're expected to dish out the 3 thou for the fishes your parents were planning to farm as a biz.. but that is okay, right? except that when your working at a bummed out office where salaries are given when everyone is bloody ready to murder for it.

and then there are your friends..who just can't figure out why suddenly you don't hangout with them, you don't go out with them..and blame it on the boyfriend.. what they don't realize is all their lives are freakingly the same, while yours is not! hell! Their lives for the past three years have been the same, studying and gimik... but your life is not! take mine for instance, i wake up at 6 or 7, go to work, listen to doctors, transcribe what they bloody dictate for 8 hours, go off work at 5, go to class, law classes mind you for three hours, go home, rest for an hours, study at least til midnight, sleep.. so where do i get to hangout in that freakingly rigid sched???!!!! tell me!!!! my life has change really, and i think im thinking of changing it more.. no commitments in fact.. sometimes, having someone who has a major control on your emotions really do get so fuckingly exhausting, excuse the blasphemy.. (do feel rather emotional about this at the moment..)

there goes my repertoire.. blah..blah..blah....

anyways, sometimes you just wish things would go back to when it all started, but life has no rewind, does it?

as i have always, always said.. cest la vie!

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let me introduce myself..

i am a contradiction..

i love life just as much as i hate it..

i love to play with kids, but damn if i want them to be smelly..

i love old people, i could on for hours asking them how magellan looked like (hehehe..), but damn if u can make me clean their ass.

i am romantic, but at the same time i am probably the most cynical person around..

i call myself a pessimist.. but sometimes i just can't stop hoping..believing..

and i am a person who wants..

that i would have the mind of a genius but not lose my head...

that i would be able to meet the freaking doctors of montana, and dictate to them this time..

that i would be able to dance in my wedding with my baby with the song moonriver playing..

that i would have my cake, eat it, and go back for more..

that i would love and know love for all its worth..

that i would be able to squeeze everything from my life, that i would have no regrets..or at least only some..

that i would dance like no one is watching..

that i would never compromise my belief..and my self worth..

that i would win a nobel prize for just anything..

that i would write a book that people would write about..

that i would be a daughter that i can be proud to call "my daughter"

that my sister and i will still gossip like we're teenagers, when we are in our 60's..

that i will never lose my faith..

that i would be a friend who defines the word..

that i would have people rejoicing my life at my funeral..

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mumblings

Now its time to get down to business..

i have been writing stuffs, which pathetically showed my fascination with this blog thing.. by the way, i had my baby, making his own blog.. i guess it goes with watching me paste javas (dunno what they're called so forgive me computer peepz)..and he made his own.. but i get to pick his URL.. had my name in it of course.. its funny really because we sit next to each other at work.. there he is busy transcribing what those friggin' doctors in billings montana are saying (i hate the mumblings of some doctors who are better off with major hemorrhoids, for like a month or so.. ), and there i am sitting next to him, not barely breathing, mindless of the pounding rain of a storm (oh yeah there is another one.. u call that cruel fate), eyes large enough to swallow my whole freaking head, and snapping at him everytime he'd nudged me or so..

Forgive me but this is the highlight of a day's work.. and in this office where the good stuffs are banned..thank god the technical staff has not learned the enjoyment we employees get from this..

and its after the 30th, hve i been paid? na-ah! this baby is a free freaking labor until they realize it isn't! so here i am penniless, while my mother waits for my money so that she could buy the fingerlings for the fishpond she is planning to set up at our backyard together with the pigs, and of course, the chickens! hey! she is an entrepreneur, and anybody who calls her "jologs" is dead! u hear me?!? DEAD!! :) nah.. just kidding.. til here...

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