i asked for it.

lately, my emotions have been totally screwed up.

the truth about this though is that i have been told that i am screwing it up.

when u love, u want to be love completely..
and u don't want to be told that "if someone had a choice, he'd rather spend the rest of his life with somebody else.."

how do u tell urself not to hurt when the hurt has taken root, so deep that it's not easy to unearthed it?
how do u tell urself to trust that the next words u'd hear is true?
how do u tell urself to stop hurting?

u don't, i guess.

because when u stop hurting, u stop loving.

i guess as long as when u love, u would continually hurt.. i guess love requires courage and the commitment from loving requires that u have the strength to stay and hope though u feel ur heart breaking..

i never thought my heart would break until the other night

when i felt the first piece break away..

the fact is i made myself hurt, i asked for it..

he said it was meant to hurt because i was hurting him.

Still,

is it wise to know the truth from someone else's past? to unearthed worms that have long fed on the waste of the past?

i guess not.

because when u do, u find urself knowing things ud rather not know, but desperately needed to know..
u learn that some dreams were not yours for they were somebody else's first..
u learn that what u might be holding, would rather be held by somebody else..

but why do i keep holding on?

because despite all of this, i love.

completely.