Farting - Gimme a Break!

Farting.

I'm not such a big fan of it, but my husband seems to love doing it. I swear! I'd like to include it as a valid cause for dissolution of marriage. It's often a cause of argument between us. The thing is he never once farted while we were still dating. It must have killed him then trying to be discreet with his farts. It's an entirely different story now. He lets it all out and I mean, really let it all out!

Usually, the sound poooooooooooooooooooooot!!! is followed by me letting out a series of expletives. I could give a drunken sailor a run for his money. The curses usually starts with "ay p*ta!" That's how furious I get!

I initially thought it was cute -- but by god, after 3 years of marriage, it's an entirely different story.

I actually gave him a quota - 8 farts a day! I thought that was just reasonable because I learned from this one Oprah episode that men usually farts 8 times a day or less. So, I thought 8 is fine and dandy.

Erbe beats that effing record. He could fart up to 14 times a day! Seriously!

He looooooooooooves doing it.

One time, I had a bad stomach and I keep farting myself, and he was so happy about me farting. Smiling broadly, he said, "Masiramun baga ano, ba?"
That's how I learned that he loves doing it.

I think it runs in the family. Everyone in his family loves to fart. It's weird, I know. Unfortunately, my daughter has apparently discovered the fine form of farting.

Earlier this evening, I smelled something horrible.

Smells like fart, I thought.

But since I was with Paige, I couldn't very well blame Erbe. I knew it wasn't me. So, I asked, "Baby, atot ka?"

Silence.

Hmm, I thought. I asked again, "Baby, atot ka?"

Silence.

I prodded insistently, "Baby, atot ka?"

And she finally answered oh-so-sweetly, "Yes po."
*sigh






"Review My Post and Get Paid! Seriously!"