For instance, do not post status updates addressing someone who is in the same room with you! For god's sake! A post like "Hon, can we go to sleep now" is vastly irritating. Why don't you just fucking turn your head and ask him?! He's right there with you in the room! It's not cute, I swear!
And if you miss your boyfriend, why don't you just send him an email - or better yet, call him up! I don't think all of your 348 friends (by the way, how did you manage to get that many friends?) are eager to read about your deep longing for your effing boyfriend. Seriously! If I read another status update about your boyfriend, I'd freaking delete you from my list! Okay, I know, that's not really a scary threat, but it works to my advantage. So there.
Updates about what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner are not cute. We don't care about what you ate for breakfast. On second thought, perhaps, I should consider writing, "Tinggay Garchitorena ate tuyo, balaw, sugok and Lucky Me mami for breakfast" as well. I wonder how you'd feel every time you'd read my freaking food updates.
And for god's sakes! Don't chat about your love life for all your 276 friends to read! I don't really care if your boyfriend loves you more than you love him. This can be riveting if I don't find it weird!
These are just some of the things that irritate me about people's Facebook status. I have more, but I don't dare write them here, lest these friends find my blog and read my post. After all, I don't want to end up with only my sister, Paulo Coelho and Oprah as my friends. :)