10 Things That Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew

I came across this article and I frowned my way through it. The author is a chauvinistic jerk. Seriously! I agree with some of the things he said but I take offense at the whole article. IT reeks of chauvinism. Perhaps, if you have testicles, you will like disagree with me. Perhaps, if you are nitwit, you will likely disagree with me. However, if you know your worth, you will take offense at some of the things written there. It's so freaking backward. Take this sentence for instance, "Submission means being subject to your husband in everything. Wives you can only win your man by submitting to him."

In everything??? Hell no! Thank you, but I have brains too and I can very well think for myself. I can do compromise, but there is no way in friggin' hell I will "submit to my husband in everything". It's the word "everything" that scares me. That's so Stepford wife. Why not switch me on now, Darling, so I can freaking smile? Why not switch me off now, Sweetheart, so I can sit? Why not kill me while you're at it? I need some batteries, Honey, my brain cells are almost gone now.

Well, anyway, not all of you will likely agree with me, but that's where I stand. I never understood the "submission" part. I would though if I live in a cave and I eat raw brains of yolk.

I can relate to this article much better. The writer is less of a chauvinistic pig.

As you can probably surmise I am not a perfect wife. I am far from perfect. If I will rate myself from 1 to 10, I am somewhere between -9 to -10 – that's how awful I am. Yes, I can do sweet, thoughtful and caring, but I am better at being grouchy and bitchy. I snapped, snipped and bite. And God, I am very good at cutting people to pieces with words. I can do mean and I can do nasty really well. So, no, I am not a good wife. However, I have a saint for a husband and that's why this marriage works.

The articles I've read, however, made me think of Things That Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew. So, here goes my list. (Ba, you'd better be reading this!)

1. Even when your wife is mad at you and she screams for you to "get your hands off me", she really means, "I really need a hug." Don't in any circumstances walk away or open the computer to check out your Facebook page while you wait for your wife to simmer down. That's like throwing the gauntlet down at Bin Laden. Of course, there are times when she really means "get your hands off her or she'll bloody rip those things apart". You should know when to tell the difference. Ba, in my case, I rarely mean the latter.
   

   
   

2. When your wife complains of aches and pains, listen. Don't give her a nonchalant, inattentive, "oh yeah?" while you continue to stare intently at some classmate's picture in Facebook. You are inciting her to blow up. You don't want to end up complaining of aches and pains yourself, would you? Pay attention and give her the hugs and kisses she needs – and throw in the best offer you can give – "Would you like a massage, honey?" That will definitely earn you some good loving from her later.
   

   
   

3. Please remember to take off your shoes before you enter the room. You may not think that doesn't matter, but it does. Ignoring her request hurts her. It's not just an issue of dirty floors anymore. It's an issue of respecting her wishes. How difficult is it to take off those bloody shoes anyway?
   

   
   

4. If men/husbands need to be appreciated, women and wives feel the same. Wives need to know that their husbands are still attracted to them. When once upon a time, you can't walk in public without holding her hand, why stop now? You have more right to do so now that she is your wife. Let her know you are proud of her and that you appreciate her by making sure that she is beside you every step of the way.
   

   
   

5. When your wife touches or kisses you, it doesn't mean she wants to have sex. Well, maybe – sometimes, but definitely not all the time. So, down boy! Sometimes, all your wife wants is some good snuggling and kissing.
   

   
   

6. When you ask your wife, "What's wrong?" and she answers you with, "Nothing." Uh.huh. That means something is definitely up. Grab a chair and a cup of coffee and get ready for a long conversation. While you're at it, be ready to admit that "it's all your fault" because trust me, the "nothing" won't end unless you do so. When you're wife exhibits that mood, you can't talk her out of it.
   

   
   

7. Romance. It never goes out of style. Romance means not farting, cleaning your nose or scratching your butt in front of your wife. Do not let romance slip away. Once it does, you'd be left with a cranky, bored wife. And you don't want a cranky, bored wife. Remember, misery loves company.
   

   
   

8. Do not look at other women when you're with your wife. It's disrespectful. Trust me, she knows your type. She'd know who you would be looking at even before you actually turn to look. Wives are sharp that way. No, we don't have superpowers. We just know you too well.
   

   
   

9. Do not dismiss her thoughts and feelings. Even if you think she's wrong, respect her thoughts and feelings. They are hers and these things are real to her. She needs you to respect them. You may not agree with her, but do not commit the mistake of dismissing her thoughts and feelings as valid.
   

   
   

10. Do not forget to say "I love you". Your wife loves to hear it. And no, "I love you's" are definitely not overrated.
    

    
    

There. Now, I think I should link this article to Erbe's facebook wall. That's the only way I can get that husband of mine to read my blog.

And oh, yeah, that reminds me – this one is for my husband

1. Read her blog. You'll never know what you may discover.
   

Meanwhile, I just saw a lizard swallow a huge moth. I'll be damned. It does happen. The moth probably did not see that coming. Of course, the several hundreds of ants I flushed down the toilet a while ago did not see me coming either. If ants can think, that one intelligent ant last thought was, "I never thought my life would end this way – being flushed down the toilet."

I cannot do Buddhism, I take too much pleasure in killing ants (specifically red ones) and mosquitoes. I refuse to believe they're reincarnations of poor human beings. It must suck to be reincaranated as a mosquito.