Kicking It Old School

I've decided to kick it old school from now on. No more curses and blasphemies -- or at least I'll try. I kinda missed the good 'ol days where people dish out biting witty remarks without the words "fuck" and "bitch" thrown in.

Anyways, here is a list of insults that just drove me to giggling fits.

"What are you gonna do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back?"
Abraham Lincoln

"I could dance with you until the cows come home... on second thoughts, I'll dance with the cows and you go home."
Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain (I love this one!)

"The problem with political jokes is that they get elected."
George Bernard Shaw

"You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving."
Rodney Dangerfield

"Your father should have pulled out." :)
John Wayne

"He's a male chauvinistic piglet."
Groucho Marx

And quotes from anonymous individuals --

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.

All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

He does the work of three men: Larry, Curly & Moe

He's just visiting this planet.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

No one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy, if you wear a wig to hide to the scars and learn to control the slobbering.

When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.

Ah...the good 'ol days!